Bakit 'To Nangyari Sa'tin? (LSS #1)

Prologue

She was certain a transparent relationship would last forever.

Maddie never doubted its possibility. For almost four years niyang nakasama si Cloud, both had shown their bare soul to one another. Even their darkest childhood secrets were unfolded throughout their relationship. What could they do? It was what they agreed upon the moment they took their relationship seriously: to share nothing but honesty.

Three and a half years seemed to be a short span of time for lovers, but not between Maddie and Cloud. Those years felt like forever.

In every second passing by, it was an addition of road to eternity. Sa bawat paggalaw ng kamay ng orasan ay nadadagdagan ang kanilang pag-ibig na walang-hanggan.

Maddie was sure they were for ever.

She turned out to be wrong.

If they were for ever, why was she sitting in a circle of hopeless romantics inside the church's facility? What was she doing with a number of lonely women led by a social worker who happened to be the church's lector?

She signed up for a support group from which she hoped would ease her pain.

Sa likod ng simbahan, nakatayo ang silid para sa pagpupulong. Isang maaliwalas na conference room ang itinayo ng simbahan para sa oportunidad ng pagsasagawa ng mga pang-korporasyong aktibidad.

Tulad ngayon, unang araw ng napagkasunduang weekly meeting ng isa sa mga support groups ng simbahan na may layong tulungan ang mga kapanalig na dumaraan sa matinding pagkabigo sa pag-ibig. Oo, para sa mga gustong kalimutan ang dati nilang minamahal.

Sariwa pa ang araw sa langit at kakaabot pa lamang nito sa pwestong nagpapahiwatig na kalahati na ng umaga. Kakatapos lang din ng morning worship para sa unang serbisyo at naiwan ang mga mananamba para sa isang munting salo-salo. Habang nag-kukumustahan ang iba, dumeretso naman ang mga miyembro ng bagong support papunta sa conference room.

The church was consisted of different people of different statuses in the society. They had two of the richest families in town, several of the common middle-class faithfuls, and some of the marginalized poverty-stricken individuals who were still optimistic they would find comfort and safety inside the home of the invisible Holy Spirit.

Sa isip-isip ni Maddie, 'Isn't it strange how this faith binds us together in search of hope amidst our insane problems? Why are we so keen to keep on believing when we have enough reasons to turn our backs and walk away from the ghost who keeps on promising us a better life?'

She was confused. Maddie didn't know what to believe on. But she was still here.

Hinatak niya ang isang itim na monoblock chair papalapit sa bilog na binuo ng kaniyang mga kasama at tahimik na umupo rito. Nilibot niya ang kaniyang mga mata sa mga taong makakasama sa mga darating na buwan at tila halos lahat sa kaniya ay pamilyar. Walo ang kanilang bilang kasama ang pinuno ng grupo.

Si Tess ay ang social worker na aktibong nakikibahagi sa aktibidad ng simbahan. Bata pa lamang ay isa na siya sa magigiting na mananampalataya ng kongregasyon. Kahit ngayon na siya ay mayroon nang trabaho, hindi siya tumitigil sa pagbabalik ng biyayang kaniyang natanggap mula sa pinaniniwalaang pinakamataas na nilalang.

"Good morning sa inyong lahat," bati ni Tess na may masiglang ngiti sa mukha. "First day ng ating weekly devotion at alam kong ang ilan sa atin ay maguumpisa pa lamang kaya huwag na nating patagalin ito. I'll open this session with a prayer."

At nagdasal sila bilang panimula.

Naninibago pa si Maddie pero sinubukan niya ang kaniyang makakaya upang makibahagi sa kanila. Sa lahat kasi ng kasama niya rito, siya lamang ang bagong graduate ng kolehiyo. Bata pa para sa average age ng mga miyembro.

She just shrugged it off and focused on the next words on Tess.

"Before we start, magpakilala muna tayo para naman maging pamilyar tayo sa isa't isa. Ako na ang magsisimula."

Mula kay Tess, umikot ang intruduksiyon hanggang sa matapos ito kay Maddie na nasa kaliwa ng pinuno.

"Magandang umaga sa inyo. Ako si Madeline Carmona o mas kilala niyo na Maddie, 22 years old. Sumali ako rito kasi..."

Bahagyang tumigil sa pagsasalita si Maddie. Despite this bright morning, her face darkened. She remembered the fresh wounds trying to heal itself with the comfort of the holy ghost.

She gasped for breath, afraid to continue her description, but was consoled by the social worker trying to alleviate her burden. "You're no stranger to us, Maddie. Okay lang kung hindi ka pa ready sa session ngayon. Kahit makinig ka muna maiintindihan naman namin."

She thought Tess was right. She thought she wasn't ready. Until a particular song hymned its way back into her memory. A song which was also a question to hopeless lovers. A music that defined an emotional tragedy in love. Maddie whispered, "Bakit 'to nangyari sa'tin?"

"Maddie?" Tess called her name and she surprisingly caught her attention back at her.

"Ah, sorry about that. I was saying, sumali ako sa grupo na ito kasi gusto kong hanapin ulit sarili ko." She sighed. "I feel like I lost the entirety of myself when I tried to lay back and did everything on my satisfaction. Lalo na 'yung recent break-up ko. I'm trying to put back to pieces a part of me that I lost in that horrendous battle against love. Maybe find answers to the question why of all people, I was the one to experience it?"

This was the perfect moment for Maddie to open up. These people never knew her as a lady. The only idea they had of her was when she was ten. After it, Maddie was an unknown woman. In front of these people, she was no longer that chubby little kid who used to ran outside the garden while the mass was ongoing. She wasn't that cute alms collector during the children's mass anymore. She was Madeline—a woman who wasn't all about running and having fun while the pastor was preaching.

A woman of her own mind and she was about to share how her rationality was destroyed by an affection most people long for, love.

"Uhm, ate Tess?" Tiningnan niya ang leader sa mata.

"Yes?"

"Okay lang ba kung ako magsimula sa sharing? Gusto ko na kasi talagang ilabas ng gusto kong sabihin. Hindi ko na ata kaya maghintay pa mamaya."

"Sure... oo naman," Tess nodded to agree with her. "What happened in your relationship?"

Huminga nang malalim si Maddie at nagsimulang ikuwenta ang istorya paano siya napunta sa support group na ito. At this moment, she knew opening up to strangers was the best option. "Two months ago, the thing I never expected happened to me. I broke up with my boyfriend whom I thought was the person I'd spend forever with."