Shot With The Queen

Part 1

written by Mack Writtens

photography by Mack Views

It was an algid day in Burlington. The breeze was buzzin' but the people either double layered their tunics or brought out their snow tiger fur coats, because today was not one to be inside.

It's Suitor's Day again, which means the next string of princes from all over the world will come visit Burlington in attempt to woo the Queen. Queen Gladys has been holding Suitor Day three times now, for the past 3 years. It's not something she wants to do, and it's not something that has been normally done in Burlington's history.

It was her father's dying wish as he left the queendom to her majesty. Queen Gladys wasn't fond of anyone in the land and the king didn't want her to rule alone.

Queen Gladys loves her people and she is very particular with who she will let rule alongside her, for she would not only be choosing a partner to love but one to lead her people with. She has lead with intelligent benevolence and assertion successfully during her reign.

Every Suitor's Day, when these princes come in one by one, they bring a cavalcade bearing wealth. Gifts, dancing, horns and drums parade the streets. Her majesty is never impressed, but her people enjoy it for sure. The peasants are always quite entertained. It is the highlight of their year.

Oh, speaking of peasants ...

Pip, the all-day working carpenter who can fix anything and build anything, is particularly filled with valor today. His father was a carpenter, and his father before him was a carpenter, and so on and so forth. All the way back to when the first table formed on this planet.

"Today is the day! I wonder what damned fools will appear this time."

In comes the town clown who is ever so loud and quiet Pip's only friend, Charles. The heavy man heavily pats Pip on the back as his carpenter friend is sanding the sides of his latest wagon, ruining his focus. Pip rises.

"Yeah another unfitting fool."

"Like you know what the Queen wants, carpenter."

"I know what I have to offer, is more than any of these suitors have to offer."

"You speak crazy. Show what gold, or drapes you have at your disposal. You dunce. You don't even have a horse."

"You think too simple of our great leader. She is not impressed by such things. Why do you think we continue to have Suitor's Day?"

"Speaking of, I am surprised to see you here ... on the roadside. You never come to Suitor's Day. Finally decided to stop being such a wrench and partake in the town's most glorious day of the year."

"The most glorious time of Burlington was when our ancestors won the Battle of Spirals on Mount Vonahues. Today will rival that glory, when I, Pip, show Queen Gladys the one true, and best, suitor for her. Me."

Charles has been hearing this tune for the past four months. Pip confessed his love for her majesty was one rooted in romance and needed to result in marriage. Charles has been hearing plot after plot that'll somehow get Pip into the royal quarters, passed Burlington's most abrasive soldiers and then in the presence of Queen Gladys so he can profess his undying love for her. Pip hasn't acted on any of these plans so far.

You would think these aspirations would just fall on deaf years by now, but the town clown loves a good chuckle and he gets a kick out of seeing a man fail ... again and again.