This was meant to be a relaxing visit to see old friends in the Highlands, and yet here I sit at a formal dinner party, across from my ex.
His new fiance is possesively clinging to his arm. She consistently scours the table. Her lackluster eyes shooting daggers at all of the women under fifty.
The overwhelming stench of her cheap perfume is wafting throughout the room, charring my nostrils and tongue with its vile tang. Her fake tan is applied so liberally that it is already staining her white body-con strapless dress, and don't get me started on the hunk of bubblegum she annoyingly gnaws at.
Occasionally she opens her mouth to hiss out a nasty speculation about the "out-dated" decor and how everyone present is so "old". It is a highland castle and the family has lived in it for generations, what does she expect? Ikea furniture and Pinterest farmhouse decor?
Oh Alex, you've hooked yourself to a real classy one.
I occasionally make eye contact with him, imparting a glance awash with pity.
How did the confidant and charismatic man I first loved stoop to betrothing himself to such a fabricated wench?
I can't wrap my head around it. He's still built like Adonis, with vivid blue eyes that are rimmed with thick and dark lashes. His naturally light-brown hair has sunbleached to a golden blonde from being outside so much. I take note that it's longer than it used to be. It now drapes over his collar by almost two inches. It suits him though, somehow softening the harsh angles of his face. His body would make a Chippendale jealous.
He catches me studying him and grins.
All these years and that smile has my thighs clenching and my cunt wet.
He's engaged Soph! He hasn't been yours for over a decade...so get yourself together!
I turn towards Rory's brother, Jamie, on my right and distract myself. We catch up on what we've kept busy with over the years, share travel stories and he asks if I'm really staying for the month, or if I will leave early like I always do.
He knows I keep my visits short to avoid Alex.
Rory and Alex have been best friends their entire lives. They have businesses together, hold adjacent properties, and rarely go a day without seeing each other.
I've always felt my visits have put Rory in a hard spot with Alex. While I'm here he has to chose which of us to be around...well until today that is.
I don't have a good answer to give Jamie about how long I will stay.
I have had just about enough of this dinner party. We've barely made it through the appetizers. I begin to stand, excusing myself politely.
My eyes dart fervently at Rory, shooting lethal daggers. We've been friends for fifteen years and he is hosting this disasterous dinner for almost sixty people, and yet he has Alex and I seated across from each other.
I quickly exit and begin my climb up the stately main staircase towards the third floor where my room is.
Upon entering, I hastily begin to disrobe and head towards the shower.
I quickly wash the makeup from my face, then move onto lathering my hair. I rinse then apply conditioner and move my head out of the water stream, resting my head against the cool tile of the shower wall.
I begin to cry.
The tears roll down my checks with haste. No matter how I control my breathing or try to clear my head, my heart overwhelms me and my body just lets it go.
I walked away from him fifteen years ago because I was a scared and pathetic girl. The fear of how much I loved him terrified me. I had accepted his proposal and was ready to make a life with him here in Scotland. Then my insecurities and anxiety had me second guessing one night and I panicked. I packed my bags, and hopped a flight back to Canada.
