Why Can't You Love Me

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

3 weeks later*

I hop off the bus putting my bag on my back, I look around searching my family and after turning around I see Ian and Fiona. I run up to them and hug them. "Hey soldier, how was Bootcamp?" Ian asks me, smiling as he takes my bag. "Awesome, I could probably kick your ass now. " I say smiling and going to hug Fiona."In your dreams," he responds. "How's everything at home?" I ask while walking back with them. "Um, well." Ian starts looking skeptical. "What? It can't be that bad. I've only been gone for three weeks." I say laughing but stop short as they both don't answer. "Well, Lip is trying to take responsibility for a baby that may not be his by dropping out of school. So, Fi made him choose school or not living in the house anymore." Ian starts, "Fucking Idiot," I mutter shaking my head. I know Lip was smart enough to pass school with ease but he was probably the only person I know who would fuck up his opportunity to get out of the ghetto.

" Oh, and Jimmy's back, he's even got a wife." Fiona states, "Wait, Jimmy. As in Jimmy-Steve." I questioned to make sure and when she nodded her head I just had to stop for a minute. I mean I probably haven't seen the guy in almost a year, and he got married, when?! "You didn't forgive him for abandoning you, right?" I question hastily. "Nope, but he is relentless. Even became Carl's football coach." she returns sighing. "Anything else?" I inquired hoping nothing else too radical happened while I was gone. "Grandma got out of prison, made Frank's life a living hell, sort of see where he gets it from now," Ian says smiling." almost killed Sheila by shooting her, and almost killed Carl by making a meth lab in our basement that caught on fire," he explained. "Well, where is she now? She can't still be in the house right." I ask Fiona. "Right, because she just died of cancer last week," Fiona answers casually.

"What the fuck. You'd think I'd been gone for a year by how much shit happened" I express, as amusing as it was I was shocked, I mean I get our life is a roller coaster but this much in such short a time.

"Oh Fi, I took some weed with me to camp, got the other cadets to give me money for. Those rich pricks bought this shit so fast that it was gone in two days." I say as I present three hundred dollars to her. "Woah Lex, this is impressive," she tells me, amazed. "How'd you get it in," she asked me. "Wasn't tight security but put it in coffee grounds in a jar that I had them in." I clarify

Walking up to the front door together Fiona and Ian seem hesitant to go in. "Well good that I'm all caught up. Can't believe all that happened in three weeks." I declared opening the door but still turned towards them. "Well, not everything," Ian says cautiously. I look at him confused as to what he means but it becomes very clear as I enter the house. "Oh my god, it's my baby lex." the voice says. "Holy fuck." I state with wide eyes. There she is, my crazy, drug addict, shit excuse of a mother, Monica. She goes to hug me and all I can do is just stand there. "What the fuck." I whisper, out of all the things that were said to me today, this stunned me the most. "Look how tall you got, you're already taller than me! And this uniform, my military lady," she says laughing. I can't feel anything, my body just feels numb. I don't know why but when she hugged me it felt cold, not what you're supposed to feel when your mother hugs you. "Say something to your mother god dammit." Frank's voices but I just can't move anything, not even my mouth. "Lex, you okay?" Fi asked me with a hand on my shoulder. I nod and try to walk past Monica but she grabs my hand instead. "W-wait Lex, come sit. I made breakfast for you guys, I want to talk to you." she insists. I can't even look at her.

 "This is bullshit." I say laughing. "Watch your mouth, that is, your mother you're talking to." Frank demands. "No! This woman is not my mother. The memory of my mother died when I was six! This woman is not a mother, she may look like her but mothers are supposed to stick around! When a "mother" leaves, they are no longer a mother!" I yell at him. I run back outside as Fiona calls my name. Every time I look at that woman I remember every single time she abandoned me. Even when it was on the street corners to get high on god knows what or when she would just leave in the middle of the night and not come back for months on end. That shit hurt ever fucking time and just looking at her made each memory just come flooding back.