Abyss in My Head... (Yaoi, Psychological)

14. When the String Snaps...

Quaid sat beside the window and touched all the horrid colors on his skin. He flinched when he felt the sting and the pain. He looked outside and saw the dark sky.

"Has the night always been this dark?" He whispered and turned to look towards the bedroom. The door was open so he could see the man inside sleeping peacefully in the bed. It had been hours after the nightmare he just had and he made it out of hell again.

A rush of memories ran through his head.

When he first met Von, he was just a new employee in the hospital and for the first time in his whole life, someone cared for him... cared too much. It seemed like Von's life revolved around him. Feeling important and needed, he also dedicated himself to the latter.

He took a deep breath and again, he flinched. "Ah, I think some of my ribs are broken..." He winced as he felt something stabbing him inside with every breath he took.

As he closed his eyes, all he could see were the times Von smiled at him, the times of his pampering, the times when all they had was love.... "When did it start, Von? When did we turn out like this?" What caused the tears to fall now was not the pain nor the regret. "I miss you...."

All the good memories flooded in... the smiling man... the gentle man... He sobbed and cried for every happy memory that he knew he could never have again.

"Life is really a joke. You try your best. You do your best. You fight. But, life just hits you harder... and harder... and harder..."

He looked up at the dark sky and whispered, "Are you there? Are you real? Why? Why was I born? Why can't you love me? Am I not one of your creations? Why? Please look at me. Look at me. Can't you love me? Why is everything so hard? Why does everything hurt?"

The aches all throughout his body intensified with each word as he forced himself to speak.

Quaid closed his eyes again and his tears never seemed to stop. "I'm tired. Didn't you think I'd get tired? If I don't give up, what's there for me in the end? Tell me. Please. Please tell me. Because I don't know. I don't know what's there to fight for anymore."

He was in this train of thoughts when he felt the cold wind gently brushed his face. This time, it was Lyle's face that emerged in his mind and it made him smile.

"Lyle..." Ah, his friend. His very good friend. Someone who also had life as hard as him. "Are you happy there? Is he taking good care of you?" He opened his eyes and stared at the sky again. "I understand you now... I understand why you like the cold. Do you think the wind can make us fly? Lyle... I want to fly..."

+++

Kieran pulled over before they could enter the parking area of the compound. Their flight was delayed for five hours because of the weather issues so they got back so late.

"Why are there so many people here?" Lyle turned to Kieran. It was already 2 AM and the open space of the compound were so crowded. The residents and even some of the patients were out and so anxious outside. "What's happening?"

"Stay here. I'll check." Kieran went out of the car and headed to what seemed to be the cause of turmoil.

As he drew closer, he noticed that there were cops present as well and there was a yellow tape already set around a certain perimeter.

"Sir, please move----"

"I'm the owner of this whole facility. What happened?" He didn't stop walking towards the spot where most of the police were converging in. The officer who tried to stop him was now following him.