Break Me (Phan)

VIII

Philip Lester
Sunday 25th October (continued...)

I spent the entire night awake, guilt rotting in my body as I thought about the evening. I'd humiliated Dan and made him feel so scared and vulnerable. I was battling on whether or not I should leave him alone today, or hope I could catch him in the bookstore after my shift.

The hand drew nearer to the twelve on the clock looming on the far wall. I sighed, still battling my conscience, "You know what?" I thought to myself, "If he's working a shift, I'll go in. If he's not, it's not meant to be."

I threw my plastic gloves in the bin, worn so I could handle the food safely, and made my way out of the shop, saying goodbye to the other people on shift as I did so. I peered into the bookstore seeing Dan and David working the tills, although David seemed to be sorting out the cash registers rather than waiting to serve. There was also a customer in the store, browsing in the Crime section. I took a breath in, walking through the door and approaching Dan, "Hey." I smiled to the both of them.

"Oh, hey..." David trailed off, scouring his mind for my name.

"Phil." I reminded, giving a small chuckle. Dan was looking downwards with his nails marking the wooden desk and his cheeks puffing out wide with each breath he took.

"Do you need to talk to me or...are you buying?" David asked, a somewhat hopeful look on his face.

I chuckled out of politeness, shaking my head, "I was given a job at the grocer's." providing him with a smile of pity.

"Ah," he nodded, understanding, "Well, it was lovely to meet you, I've got to take this to the back." he shrugged, signalling to a small box of what I presumed was money. David walked to the man in Crime before he did so, "Trouble finding something to read, Jacob?"

The customer smiled, nodding, "You know what, you're right. I've been here too long, let me pay for this and I will be gone."

"Not at all!" David brushed off, "I was just checking in." he winked.

"Ah, I know the worker's tactics. I'll pay up." Jacob approached Dan as David slid to the backroom, "Are you waiting-" I was asked by the elderly gentleman.

"Oh, no, sorry, you go." I stepped to the side to let Jacob pay. He shuffled out of the store, making sure the glass door shut properly before he walked down the street.

My heart raced in my chest as I approached the counter, putting my hands on the surface as I looked downwards, neither Dan nor I peering up, "I'm-"

"I thought I told you to keep away." Dan sighed, shuffling backwards and sitting on his stool, hunching his arms into his lap.

"I know, but-"

"Then why are you here?!" he squealed, his voice cracking slightly. I looked up at him, concerned he was crying, but his face appeared bloodshot with frustration. My eyes flicked down to his lap, noticing his swollen wrists, which were slightly red at the skin. I furrowed my eyebrows inwards, Dan obviously noticing my concern and hiding the wounds.

I ran my hand over my mouth, beginning to feel responsible for this boy's safety. I swallowed the ball in my throat, "What will it take for you to trust me?" my arms were shaking beside me, so I slipped my fists into my jeans' pockets.

"Maybe for you not to make me feel harassed where I work? That would be a good place to start." Dan snapped.

I snatched my wrists out of hiding and slammed my palms against the till, "Stop being such a-" I paused.

"Such a what? Huh?" he mocked, holding eye contact against me.

I became wary of being in the only place where he'd been able to get hired. I sighed, "Meet me at the park after your shift, when are you done?"