You're Kidding Right?

Prologue

I stared vacantly at the empty expanse of white surrounding me. Well, this can't be good. I crossed my arms and looked down at my toes, trying to figure out what I was doing here. The last thing I remember was crossing the street in a hurry to get to the ice cream truck.

"Greetings lucky soul!"

"Gaaah!!"

I nearly fell over from the unexpected voice that rang out around me. I whipped my head around wildly, but couldn't see anyone here with me. The voice sounded very near to me, making a disturbing shiver crawl up my spine.

"Uh... Hello?"

"Yes, hello departed soul! I am your afterlife assistant, congratulations on your death!"

What!? Did they just say I died? And don't they sound way too chipper about this?

"You are the 1,609,345,872,407th person to die! Which means you've won our 'lucky 100billionth' lottery ticket!"

Excuse me. You're kidding, right?

"Ok Woah, wait just a second here." I waved my hands around exasperatedly, "Can you at least tell me how I died first!"

"Of course! You got hit by a truck and died instantly!"

"Tsk!" Curse you Truck-kun!

"Would you like to know what you've won now?"

"well not really-"

"Great! you've won~... The opportunity to get reincarnated!"

With a loud "Taa daa" confetti materialized out of nowhere and rained down on me.

"...What?" You mean I have to go through living all over again? That's terrible! I'd rather die! Oh wait, I already did.

"Uh, can't I just like... go to the afterlife or something instead?"

"Don't be silly lucky departed soul. I hear 'reincarnated into a story' is really popular these days! You'll have so much fun!"

"Wait no I-"

"Now let's see... What stories have you read hmmm... Ah! Here we go!"

My face instantly paled. Did they say, stories I've read?

"Ready lucky departed soul?"

"No! But I-"

"Let's go!!!"

But I only read crappy Wattpad stories!