yes but no ? (us)

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I'm not okay, can you hear me?

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I'm not okay, can you hear me?

i think i'm afraid
I might even be terrified
of life,
of me,
of you

sorry
sorry
sorry

how many times have I said it,
surely too much
or maybe not enough

since you were always gone
leaving me alone
sad
sick

and I hate you for that,
I hate you for giving up on me when I needed you

but i love you so much
so much that I die

if you come back
would you give me a hug ?
would you hit me ?
would you tell me that you love me ?
do you want to make love to me ?

i don't want you to come back

but i want you to come back

so come back

no don't come back
you hurt me so go

but without you I feel a gaping hole in my heart

do you think of me ?
do you regret being gone ?
do you still love me ?
have you ever really loved me ?

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