Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 66: Trust

I'm posting this an hour early because I have some things I need to figure out with class. Anyways this is a bit of angst, but not major. Um, triggers include mentions of sexual activity, a theme of misplaced self-blame, references to trauma and PTSD episodes, and Secondary Traumatic Stress. I think that is it? Anyways, I hope you enjoy! As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.

~~~

Virgil had been having a great time with trying all of the new intimate activities with his boyfriends. Being with Patton was so fun and relaxing where it just felt right to go with the flow, no need for proper plans. On the other hand, his time with Roman was passionate, overwhelming him with a completely unfamiliar reality but still making him feel completely safe in his arms. That was only two of three however, Logan still hadn't been with him. He said he wanted to try individually with all of them, but Logan hadn't brought it up at all. He just said he was happy for Virgil when he heard about both Roman and Patton and that was the end of each of those conversations. Virgil really wanted to be with Logan. He wanted to know what it'd be like with him. He knew from what happened before his last episode that it was pretty great with Logan. He was steady and sure, just like he always was in life, a sturdy stone for him to lean on when things went wrong. Perhaps Logan didn't want to be with him anymore after what had happened last time. It was more likely that Logan just wanted him to have more time after being with Roman to recover, but he still felt a little doubt creeping in. Something could be wrong, Logan could be upset, it wasn't impossible. However, there was likely a more logical explanation than Virgil reading too far into Logan's lack of action in this regard.

Virgil sighed, powering down his phone. He couldn't focus on anything he was actually seeing. He couldn't stop thinking about Logan. He shouldn't look too deeply into other's actions, he knew that, and yet Virgil couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong. He didn't have much evidence to support his concerns, just a lingering suspicion.

"Kiddos, dinner time!" Patton called from the other room.

Virgil stood up, shoving his phone into his pocket. After dinner he'd catch Logan and go talk to him. That was the only way to get rid of any lingering concern.

Dinner was fairly standard, although Virgil himself didn't speak much. Patton and Roman were fairly good at filling the room with conversation by themselves. Virgil kept sneaking glances over at Logan who seemed as calm and casual as he always was. Nothing seemed to outwardly be bothering him, but Virgil knew a thing or two about how appearances could easily be deceiving about what was actually wrong. But then there could always just be nothing wrong. There was no real harm in asking, Logan would probably appreciate the concern.

Logan was the first to excuse himself after dinner so Virgil followed only seconds later. Roman gave him a bit of a raised brow but he didn't care, he needed to catch Logan. He didn't waste time with the stairs, just sinking to the upstairs hall just in time to see Logan opening his door.

"Hey Logan," Virgil called, grabbing onto Logan's arm before he could enter his room.

"Yes, Virgil?" Logan asked, turning back to him.

"Can I, uh, can I come in and ask you a question?" Virgil requested.

"Of course, I'm more than willing to give you any aid I can," Logan replied, his expression soft and calming.

He stepped out of the way to allow Virgil inside, following after him and closing the door in the process. Virgil took some breaths as he tried to calm himself for the discussion they might be about to have. He took a seat on the edge of Logan's bed and watched Logan as he moved across the room to pull over his desk chair to sit across from him