Sad free verse poetry

The Gamble

It's a gamble.

A plain, scandalous, dirty gamble.

I throw my heart on the table praying that it won't get broken this time.

Praying that it still looks somewhat attractive because it's all patched together with tape and glue from the thousands of times others have broken it.

The problem that I have is that I care too much.

When I love someone, I love them with all my heart.

And when they break it, it shatters.

But the more it shatters, the more I lose myself.

With each break, a piece of me goes missing.

A piece of my heart that keeps me alive.

A piece of my heart that makes me, me.

The times and times again that I've gotten broken has left me with nothing.

Just an emotionless, numb, body, whose spirit was stolen long ago.

And the more I gamble, and the more I lose, the more broke I become.

The more problematic I become.

And the more damaged I become.

And the more and more this occurs, the more people want to gamble with me, because they know they have a likely chance at succeeding.

It's pretty easy to trick someone who doesn't know the difference between reality or deception, into lies.

But the more I play, the more I become invested, even if I don't want to do it anymore.

Once you're in, it's impossible to come out.

Even though I know that every play ends in the same outcome.

And I am never going to win.

I can't stop.

But...I mean, what's the shame in losing when you've already lost everything?