Drink Your Medicine (Jalex)

<11>

Three days later, my father had set up a meeting with a therapist. Did he seriously believe that I was going to go? He's wasting his time and money. Then again, that's his choice. Jack was....upset with me to say the least. He spoke to me very little, and he was very short with me when he spoke. He only spoke in three word sentences or one word answers. I apologized a thousand times over text, calls, and in person, but he just wasn't giving. I regret betraying his trust, but to say the very least, no one believed me. How could they? I'm just the crazy, lonely kid who spends all day in his room. 

There was a knock at my door. "I'm taking you for him if you don't get out here," Helen called from the other side. 

"I'm not going! And there's nothing that you can do that's going to make me!" I shouted back. Why is she getting involved with this? I thought that she was going to keep a secret for me.

"I'm worried about you, Alex. You need to understand that you need-"

"People! I need people! Now, go away unless you're going to stop nagging me."

"Please just go. One session, and if it's really that bad, I'll talk to Dad to get you out of it, okay?" She said gently.

I sighed as I threw the covers off of myself and got out of bed. I opened the door and looked her dead in the eye. "One session, that's it?"

"That's it. One session."

I ran it over in my head. To be quite honest, I still really didn't want to go, but it's not like I have very much reason to not. Jack isn't talking to me, and I'm a very convincing liar.

I was wrong. I want to go home. I sat in the room with a petite, young woman with curly, black hair that went down to her shoulders. She had tan capris pants on, and a light purple short-sleeved shirt. "Hello, Alex. I'm Miss Wilde. I'll be working with you for this session, okay?"

I nodded, not interested in talking.

"You may sit," She gestured to the chair in front of me. The room was white with a few paintings on the walls. She sat on a long, yellow couch. The ugly ones that you see at the store and no one really buys, but they have to sell them anyways. After crossing her legs, she got right down to business. "How are your grades coming along?"

I shrugged.

"You're trying to get a guitar, aren't you?"

How much did Dad tell her? I nodded. This seems like safe territory. I can tell her that much.

"Interesting. Have you spoken to anyone lately?"

I pointed to her.

She sighed. "I meant in school or around your age."

I sat still. If I answered truthfully, then she'd think that I have friends. If I didn't, then she would think that Jack is a hallucination. He's real, I know he is. He has to be, right?

"Okay, I see that this is a touchy area. What about your family? What are they like?"

My mum's crazy. She's trying to bring back my dead brother. My dad is too worried about everyone to care about himself. Jillian is still getting over her breakup and is taking it out on all of us instead. She's really not over it. Helen is trying to be like my mother, but she wants to be the good guy too. I don't really know what to think of her. Instead of saying all of this, I only whispered: "My parents are still together." Half truth. 

"I see. Is there anything else that you'd like to say about them?"

"I have two sisters. They can be a pain." Cliché answer, but it's safe. 

"Is there anything else? What about your brother?"

I swallowed hard. Did I take an extra dose of medicine before I came here? Is this room actually pretty small? Oh, no. Not now. I struggled to keep my breaths even.

"Alex?" Miss Wilde's voice sounded so far away. Her footsteps came closer to me, however. I felt arms around my left arm and shook them away.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled. I couldn't feel anything other than fear. Is it too loud or too quiet? Who's touching me? Where am I going? What's happening?

It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that I was in the car with my father. He was gripping the steering wheel very firmly in fury.

"Dad?" I asked gently.

"No. Save it for someone else. I'm done with this. I'm so done with it." He said flatly. He was absolutely furious with me, I know it.

"Sorry," I whispered. I know I'm just a screw-up. I've always know that. I ruined it with Jack. I ruined it with Mum. I ruined it with Helen. I can't remember what I need to do before I go places. I can't hear people talk about Tom without freaking out. I'm so bad. How can I even still be here? How can I even still be-

No. Don't think it.

But it was far too late. The thought was already in my head. Now it would stay there until the very end of time. It would always be there haunt me. I've considered it a few times, but never seriously. Not until right now. Why was it Tom and not me? No one would miss me when I was gone. 

How can I even still be alive?