i want to make grabby hands at spencer so he'll give me a hug
Spence's steady breathing in your ear was comforting, practically lulling you to sleep. The sounds of the TV had drained into background noise and your brain threatened to turn off. Slowly you tried to pry yourself from your boyfriend's arms, lifting your head away from his chest.
He grumbled, tightening his arms around you as you tried to escape. Clearly he hadn't been sleeping. "I need some water." You whispered in response, both of your minds too calm to handle more volume. He quickly rescinded his arms away from you. "Sorry, sorry."
You smiled gently down at him, before whisking away to the kitchen. You fetched a glass for him too.
In your relationship with Spencer touch hadn't always been prominent, something you assumed due to his aversion to germs. It didn't bother you, and you reveled in every hand hold and cheek kiss until he was ready. It was rare that you'd hug, nevermind cuddle on the couch, but it was nice to know he was getting more comfortable in your presence.
Moving back to the couch you handed a glass across to Spencer, he took it with a small thanks and sat up properly.
"Are you okay?" You asked with concern, noting the glossiness of his eyes. He looked a little more sheepish for some reason, that kind of look that made you want to wrap your arms around him, cover him in blankets and rock him to sleep.
"Y-yeah, fine." He insisted, looking down to the floor as he sipped his drink. That boy was not a very good liar.
"C'mon, tell me." You insisted with a smile, catching his eyes with your own. There hadn't been very many deep conversations between you and Spencer, intimate moments becoming more often as time progressed.
Somehow sitting in front of each other with the TV still playing, sleep tugging at you and the late afternoon light, this felt more intimate than so many other things you'd done. You wished you could keep like that forever.
"Just, hugs, I guess." He looked like he wanted to laugh at himself for being 'silly', but nothing came of it. "I'm not really used to them, I don't really-"
He trailed off, looking at you with that self-conscious look you were so used to seeing. You wanted more than anything for him to believe in himself a bit more, to know that he could be confident in his relationship with you.
As much time as you spent together he still seemed like he wasn't entirely sure he could be honest with you. It hurt, because in his presence your heart ached to confess how much you loved him- but you just weren't in the same place yet.
It's okay, he's worth every second of waiting. You just didn't want him getting caught up in his own head all the time.
"You know we can cuddle whenever, right?" You spoke with a small giggle, trying to ease the visible tension on his shoulders. He smiled at you gently, but he didn't seem calmed. His glass found its way onto the coffee table alongside yours.
"I um," He paused, furrowing his brows but rescinding the stance a moment later. He wanted to be honest, to open his heart just a little bit more. His adoration of you was contagious with the time you spent together, and he knew you were unconditionally great. His brain just seemed to stutter around you. "I just don't want to be clingy, I guess."
His voice danced around the word, like he didn't want to match it to himself. Now it was you furrowing your brows. "You know I don't think you're clingy, right?" You bit down on your lip when he shrugged. Oh, baby.
You shuffled closer to him, resting your leg against his and picking up one of his hands- you held it between your own. "Spence, I l-love spending time with you, every second of it. And if you wanna spend a couple hours cuddling on the couch that's great, I love it. And if you need me to hold you once in a while, I'll keep you cosy as long as you need. That's what you've got me for, and I'll love that too."
You pulled him close, urging him to rest his head against your shoulder. He did. "I don't want you to be scared around me. Whatever happens, let's just be honest with each other. I like being honest."
"Okay." He said quietly, his voice brushing past your ear. "I like the sound of that." His hand locked into yours, warmth radiating from the both of you. His hands made your own look small.
You sat quietly for a few moments, running your thumb across his hands and humming at your contentment. Spencer watched your small movements in wonder, odd to the feeling of being appreciated.
"Can I ask something of you, then?" He asked still quietly, earning an "Of course." in response. He felt himself warm at the sentiment. "Can you hold me?"
"Yeah, baby, I can." You whispered, moving back to lay on the couch. He waited for a moment, watching as you laid back and opened your legs to make space for him. "Head here." You motioned to your collar bone area, opening your arms to him as he began to crawl into your presence.
He snuggled his head into the nape of your neck, unintentionally breathing in your scent. He let his body fall into your own, not that he weighed much, and he gripped his arms around you- you were chest to chest.
You kept one hand on his back, another brushing through his hair- the action made him melt.
Spencer had never felt so content in his life. For a moment it scared him, but then he remembered your reassurances and his stomach fluttered. He was home; you were his and he was most definitely yours. He wondered how long you'd stay like that, because he already knew it wouldn't be enough.
"Will you be honest with me?" He mumbled into your neck, the tickling action making you giggle. He turned his head slightly to avoid it, but remained as close as he could.
"Always." You replied sweetly, letting your fingertips run through the curls on his head. You couldn't deny how smiley it made you to have your boyfriend curled into you like a teddy bear, it felt so perfect.
"N-no, I mean," He corrected himself, resisting the urge to move his hands while speaking. He couldn't do it while cuddled into you. "Tell me something you want. Anything."
"Oh." You responded, thinking for a minute. Your mind clicked with the most honest thought you had, moreso an innocent daydream. "Okay. How about we bake something together? Maybe some cookies or cupcakes, whatever you like best."
"Baking?" He let out a short and sweet laugh, you felt him smiling against you. "I don't think I'd be very good."
"Me neither, that's the point." You said with a matching giggle, holding him close. One hand clutched at his shirt a little bit more as you laughed, and the action made Spencer's heart burn up.
"Okay then." He said laughing and smiling, feeling an unfamiliar wave of happiness roll across him. "Let's do it. With cookies."
"Cookies." You confirmed, smiling. "We'll play some music, get flour and chocolate everywhere, I'll try to make a cookie in the shape of a heart and It'll turn into a blob in the oven."
At the angle you couldn't see Spencer's face, but you knew he was smiling too. In a small act of affection you placed a kiss on his forehead, then leaned your head down to cosy further.
Spence placed a chaste kiss on your neck in response. "Perfect."
