you & i ∣ one-shots

- the big day

REQUEST - NONE:

SUMMARY: Tom reminisces his time with you. 

NOTE: I wrote this like 3-4 years ago so ignore how crappy it is. 

WARNINGS: Character Death, Grief, Bad Writing

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Tom was pacing around the room. The room was too bright, everything was white. It hurt his eyes, and he thought about how that you could do better with decorating. His Y/n, he was so in love with you. You were an interior decorator in London, which meant that you barely saw each other when he was filming.

The long-distance was hard, but you were very stubborn and not easily swayed. You two loved each other, and you would be damned if not seeing each other often would ruin your relationship with the love of your life. That was what Tom had fallen in love with.

The stench of the flowers brought him back to the present. His stomach was doing flips, and his heart was beating a hundred miles a minute. He wasn't this nervous during his audition for Spider-Man, his first day as Spider-Man, your first date, or the premiere for the movie. He shakily wiped his sweat covered hands on his suit, then hastily walked to the mirror to check on his tie. It was your favorite color, but at that moment he hated it. He couldn't breathe. He needed you.

"You know, you are going to run holes in the floor if you keep up that pacing"

Your smile. You were always so sarcastic, it made you happy. It was one of his favorite things about you. Your sense of humor fit perfectly with his. You always knew how to make him laugh, and vice versa.

Of course, when you first met in high school, he had hated it. You were always cracking jokes and held the title of class clown. You were never serious, and it got under his skin so easily.

But slowly he started not to mind it, and actually found you hilarious, and you quickly became best friends.

Looking back, he remembers a specific moment that he had thought "I'm in love with her". He was in the middle before he had even realized he had begun.

You were looking at him, your eyebrow raised and arms crossed as if you were waiting for an answer. "Well?", your angelic voice rand in his ears.

"What?"

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be on your way to America? You just burst into my apartment and started pacing, I have been trying to talk to you for 15 minutes!"

He had finally built up the nerve to ask you out on a date. He realized that he was in love with you a few months ago, but he could never ask you out. He was so scared that you would reject him. He didn't want to ruin your friendship.

Of course, as soon as Harrison had found out, he was constantly teasing Tom. He never let him alone, but he also gave great advice. Actually, Harrison was the only reason that he was here today.

"Tom, you are about to go to the states for who knows how long, to film your brand new movie! You need to tell her before she moves on, because she isn't going to wait for you if she doesn't know that she needs to."

"I love you"

"I love you too Tom. You know that. Why are you missing your flight to tell me?"

"I'm in love with you."

"Oh."

At first, you were shocked, but you had agreed to give it a try. The first year was hard, with you flying back and forth to visit him. You were very career-driven, and you loved your job, so you weren't going to quit just so you could follow him around. No, you weren't like that. You were too independent to be that girl.

At first, it had been hard, the long-distance, but you loved each other and made it work. You would always FaceTime at least once a day, and constantly text, so that made it a bit better.

"Helloooo. Earth to Tom!"

Harrison waved his hands in front of his face.

"Sorry, mate. I zoned out."

"Hey don't worry. You are going to do great. Just take a deep breath, get out there, and remember that she loves you so much."

"I'll try."

"It's time."

Jeremy had walked in at some point, with tears in his eyes, his words startling the two men. He had always considered himself a father to you. Your father left when you were young, so he was the closest that you had.

You had made quick friends with the cast, just like Tom had expected. You were too lovable to hate, he should know, he had tried.

Tom started walking to the door, but Harrison held him back.

"Mate, remember I'm with you. I'll be right there if you need anything."

"I know."

He walked into the church and sat down at the front. He stared at your pictures up front, willing you to come and sit down next to him, and tell him everything was okay. He wished that you were about to walk into the church, and yell 'April Fools!', even though it is winter.

He stares at the box that held you. It was a closed casket ceremony, your body too damaged from the accident.

He hated it. He hated how he never got to say goodbye. He hated the ice on the road. He hated winter. He hated your taxi driver, how the man who killed you got to live, and you didn't. He hated the winter, his previously favorite season. He hated how the fans always said how their thoughts and prayers are with him. Thoughts and prayers won't bring you back. Won't bring your smile, your laugh, your hugs back. But most of all, he hated himself.

"Fine! Leave! See if I care!"

The words echoed in his head, on repeat. He can't even remember what you two were fighting about. It must have been important if you were leaving 2 weeks before you were supposed to, hopping on a plane.

"We just need space. Goodbye Tom. See you..... whenever."

He wanted to go back in time, take you into his arms, and beg you not to go. He wanted to beg for forgiveness. He wanted to show you how much he loved you.

But he couldn't because he drove you away. It wasn't the taxi driver's fault, it was his.

It was his fault you were on the road that late at night. He should have driven you, or gone with you. But he didn't. He went to bed.

He fell asleep, as you were fighting for your life.

The doctors said that you hadn't died on impact. That you were alive, and in pain, for 10 minutes.

They weren't in time to save you, but he didn't blame them, he blamed himself.

So did everyone else.

Of course, no one voiced it. But he knew. Your mother glared at him, clearly wishing that it was him and not you. Your best friend was breaking down, crying for you to return and help the world smile again. Jeremy had silent tears running down his face, trying to be strong, but failing miserably.

But Tom just sat there. Completely emotionless. Without you, he couldn't feel. He couldn't breathe. He was at a standstill.

You were his light, and now you were gone.

The flowers' stench was still there, less overpowering though. He was slowly becoming more and more desensitized.

He didn't mind. What was the point if you weren't there, arms wide open, waiting for him.

There wasn't one.

The love of his life was gone. His light. His laughter. His reason. His fiancé.

His (Y/n).