Prometheus (LGBT+) ✔

11. Πίστις (Trust)

"What are you going to do about the ARVs? I hope you're not going to keep biting me and stealing."

"That wouldn't work even if I tried," I reply easily. It's a poor cover for "I have no idea". I still have a few pills left, but I can't save them since treatment compliance is essential to prevent resistance. There are no magical new solutions that I didn't have before. The only way to fall even deeper is if I become completely dependent, if I grovel and beg. I don't know if I can, but that's probably my only hope. Maybe I should show more trust, more faith in Emile's honesty and fairness, his forgiveness.

"I know that I don't deserve it, but the thefts were acts of desperation. Those days when I was sick, were ..." I want to say "hell", but I've survived hell and even though I had to relive it through my nightmares, nothing since has come close. "I couldn't function. I don't want to go through that again." I don't think I could. I've only ever wished to die, but I fear that'd be enough to make me try. "I know I've done you a tremendous injustice, but would you please consider giving them to me when I need it? I don't want to skip a day. I'm begging you."

Emile laughs incredulously. "Begging? That's a bit strong, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do."

"Could you really not go see a doctor and get a prescription? Are you so sure they would discover anomalies?"

"I don't want to risk it. They take blood, right?" And under my breath: "I'm afraid."

Emile pauses but mercifully ignores my last words. "Well, when push comes to shove, I could always prescribe you the right ARVs. I do have a medical license."

"You'd do that?"

"Would you allow me to formally test you? It is standard practice to perform the test twice."

My stomach contracts and I don't know what to think. That'd be less horrifying than a stranger I can't trust at all, but still. "Is that necessary?"

"We never prescribe anything purely based on a self-test because they are less reliable than the lab test. Also, do you have an idea when you got infected?"

"I fell ill in the first half of February, I think."

"And after that, it stopped, even before the ARVs?"

"Yes, though I still suffered from a mild cold, nothing serious. I read that was the asymptomatic phase."

"That's right. In that case, we can reasonably assume you contracted the virus at the end of January or beginning of February. When did you test?"

"Around the 21st, if I remember it right."

"Hm, that's not too bad, but the test is more reliable after four to six weeks since it looks for HIV antibodies."

"Wouldn't the medication change the results then? I thought HIV became undetectable below a certain number."

"That's true. You've been taking ARVs for two months now?"

"Almost."

"The test might turn out negative in that case, but I still prefer to follow the correct procedures if I'm going to prescribe you anything. Have you been taking the pills every day at the same time? Only one a day."

"Yes."

"And you haven't experienced any symptoms?"

"No. Everything is like before."

"Alright. Good. I suggest I take a blood sample now, so I can take it with me to the lab on Monday. I'll call you when I have the results. Sounds good?"