𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 (𝟏𝟖+)

46. LEAVING VEGAS BEHIND - ✭DENVER✭

I'm sitting in the chaise lounge that sits in the corner of our large bedroom. Their large bedroom; I correct myself. Luke's arm is wrapped around Mal's body, holding her to him. Her back is snuggly pressed into him as his hand lays on her belly where his child lies beneath her skin. The image makes me smile but also makes my heart ache.

I'm nothing but happy for the two of them. Malyssa has been happier over these past two months than I've ever seen her. She's not yet showing physical signs of the little life that sits inside her womb. Emotional signs were a whole entire other story though. Sex was on her mind as usual, but she couldn't have it while she was recovering.

No sex meant very little room for me in this relationship, at least that's how I feel now. Because while the two of them were recovering from the wounds they'd sustained they also bonded over their baby to be. Yes, I was there. I slept with the both of them in their bed every night but I felt like I was on the outskirts of the whole thing. It's like I'm the third wheel to their happiness and it doesn't feel good.

I'm good at providing pleasure. That is what I'm good at. Emotional support I am alright at. Luke was better at providing that for Malyssa than I am because, at the end of the day, Luke knows her better than I do. I may know about Malyssa's past now but it's not like I'd been there for it. I hadn't been there for her like Luke had. He has always provided for her, been her caretaker, and he continues to do so.

My phone goes off, alerting me that my driver is almost here to take me to the airport. Back to New York I go. I stand up from my seated position and walk to the edge of the bed. I give them one last look before I head out the door.

I jog my way down the stairs and with every step my heart sinks deeper inside of my chest. I can't remember there ever being a time where I'd ever felt quite like this. It's like I'm leaving my entire soul behind here. I'd thought leaving Boston and the girl I'd been with was bad but it was nothing compared to this. No; I'd never quite had this feeling before.

I grab the door handle and just as I'm about to twist the knob I hear a choked, "Denver?" I close my eyes tightly really not wanting to do this right now.

"It's three o'clock in the morning, Luke. Go back to bed." I open the door and take a step out of it, hearing him jog down the stairs.

"Den, what are you doing?" His voice sounds slightly panicked but I don't pause or hesitate. I walk out of the house, closing the door behind me firmly as I do. If I stop I don't know if I'll be able to leave and me leaving is what's best for everyone, especially Luke. "Denver?!" I hear Luke's voice yell from the door but I don't turn around, I just make my feet move quicker toward the end of the driveway, where I'm meeting my driver.

When I hear him say my name one more time brokenly I stop. I close my eyes tightly and grit my teeth, hating the feelings going on inside of me. All this turmoil is something I do not like. I don't like feeling like this at all. I sense Luke finally come up behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing, Den?" I open my eyes to a confused, worried-looking Luke.

"I'm uhm," I run my hand through my hair and let out a long breath, "I'm heading back to New York." He looks like a bucket of ice water was just poured on top of him.

"You're... you're leaving us?" His steely blue eyes are glaring at me in anger and sadness. His blond hair isn't sticking up anywhere, it's perfectly styled even though he just rolled out of bed. He really is the most beautiful man I've ever been with.

"Yes. I'm leaving the two of you." His features turn emotionless and I know he's thrown that wall of his right up. "Listen, in just six months from now there will be three of you. There's going to be no more room for me, Luke. You have to know that. You have to know that there is no way that me being here with the two of you will look good."

"She's already lost so much, Denver, don't make her lose another person."

I give him a sad smile and say, "she's got you. She's always had you. You're all she needs."

"No, I'm not. She needs you." I look away from him, feeling guilty. "She needs both of us, Denver. You can't leave her like this. She's three months pregnant. She. Needs. You."

My father had left my mother when she was pregnant with me then he got locked up. But this is different. I'm not my father. It isn't my baby; it's Luke's. I shake my head and walk around him, not being able to take much more of this conversation. He'll see I'm right eventually, even if he doesn't see it right now. They're better off without me.

I'm only a few steps away from him when Luke's voice cracks in sadness, "I need you." With my back turned to him he continues, "Please don't leave me; us. We need you. I need you. I—" His voice breaks, breaking me right along with it, "I love you, Denver."

I swing my bag off of my shoulder and toss it to the ground. Before it can land on the pavement I turn around. I take two strides to him and look him up and down feeling my heart beat unevenly in my chest saying, "I love you too and that is why I'm leaving." Tears begin running down his cheeks as his face still looks expressionless. "Your life has no room for me in it, Luke. Who you are, the empire you run, your family name, all of this," I gesture to the grandeur around us, "there's nothing me about it. There is no room for me here."

I grab ahold of his face, wiping away the tears pouring out of his steeled eyes. The moisture the only sign of his true feelings. With both of my hands placed solidly on his chiseled cheeks, I lean down and place my lips on his. They do not kiss me back. They're as soft as they've ever been but they do not move against mine.

"Please, tell me you understand." I search his eyes for something but get nothing in return. "Luke?" To my complete shock he shoves me backward forcefully. I stumble then regain my composure. "Luke, stop," I say, as his hands go to shove me again but I  grab ahold of them, keeping then firmly placed against my chest. "Dammit, Luke!" He continues to try and fight me until I manage to grab ahold of him and encircle him in my arms. He struggles for a moment but then his head falls into the crook of my neck with a sob.

"It's not fair." He chokes the words out into my skin as I feel his warm tears soak my shirt. "This isn't fair."

"I know, but you have to understand that this makes the most sense for all of us. Maybe... maybe we can see each other every now and again. We can figure something out but this, the three of us living together when the baby is born, won't look good for you. It won't look good for either of you. You know that." After a few moments he collects himself, pulling away from me slightly.

"What are you going to do?"

"I still have my place in New York. I'll just go back to what I was doing." He looks at me in disbelief before I bring my hand back to his cheek, the one that's coated in a days worth of stubble. "I'll be alright, I promise. There's no need to worry about me."

"But what about us?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snort out a laugh as I drop my hands away from him. "What about you? Have you met the two of you?" He rolls his eyes at me. "The two of you will be more than fine without me. I do nothing but add immaturity and unwanted stress with maybe the occasional orgasm lately." I let go of him completely and give him a sad look. "Things are changing and that's okay. It's okay, Luke. The two of you are outgrowing me. But hey, if guys want to fly me in for a weekend and have some fun with your unicorn then I'm all for it."

"What the hell is a unicorn?" Of course Luke doesn't know what that is. No surprise there.

"A unicorn," I turn around and pick my bag up off the pavement, swinging it back over my shoulder, "is a person who sleeps with a monogamous couple. I'd be that for the two of you any time." I'd be there for them for anything they needed, which is why I'm leaving. They might not know it or want to admit it but this is what's best for them. They need me to leave.

"We don't just want you for sex, Denver."

"It's what I'm good at and it's how my and Mal's relationship started. It feels fitting for it to end on that same note." Then I look him over and give him a sad smile. "It's how our relationship started too. So, like I said, if the two of you ever want me to spice it up for the two of you then give me a call."

Luke doesn't say anything, he just gives me a sad shake of the head. With that, I turn around and continue my trek down the driveway, leaving my heart behind in Vegas.