Our Stormy Ride

*44 °Brief Relief

Jamal

The chair rocks gently as she leans into it, one hand resting atop her baby bump. "For the first time in my life, I was terrified enough to lose my mind, Jamal. And I only got to know about it after you'd returned home."
Lilo sighs softly, an expression of anger and relief crossing her features.

"You're pregnant, Lilo, and no one knows how the effect of such news could have been. Tasleem was looking out for you–"

She shakes her head, face hardening. "You're my twin brother, a bond I can never share with anyone. What if..." Her voice breaks, and she clears her throat, refusing to give in to her emotions.

Even without her completing the question, I already know what she'd wanted to say.
What if I'd died too?
The question brings back images of the crash, snippets of the video I'd seen on the internet at the mention the plane had crashed into an abandoned factory, obliterating the buildings around and disrupting the previously quiet environment.

"...I'm just grateful that you're alive," Lilo says, halting my train of thoughts. She peers at me for a while, as if noticing my inattentiveness. "You should get some rest, we'll talk later in sha Allah." She stops midway through reaching for keyboard, "Oh, and happy belated birthday twinnie."

I manage a small smile before closing the laptop, and drop my head in my palms, my emotions all over the place. It'd been a nightmare when I'd arrived at the airport in Johannesburg to reschedule the flight I missed, and I'd met the officials falling into a state of disarray; some in tears, and others bearing shocked expressions. My mind had gone into a muddled state, trying to grasp the reality of what had occurred, and what could have possibly been my fate.

Stuck in that shocked daze, I thought of no one else but the loved ones of the passengers who'd been on that flight, and how they'd never see them again. It didn't occur to me to contact home then, and tell them that I was alive. Not when I was going through several emotions at once; from relief, sorrow, and guilt.

Cause of the crash had been due to a fire outbreak in an aft baggage compartment, which had quickly spread into the passenger cabin. Loss of control, and fear of the pilots had led to the plane plumetting to the ground. By then, all 100 passengers plus crew members had already suffocated to death.

The overwhelming emotion surges up again, and in its midst is a feeling of intense guilt of having been spared from the crash, while others had lost their lives, creating a void in the lives of their loved ones.

I force out a breath in an attempt to calm myself, knowing I should be grateful for still being alive.

Alhamdulillahi rabbi-il aalameen.

The light aroma of hot tea tickles my nostrils, and I open my eyes to a find a steaming mug of chamomile tea in front of me, and Nadia smiling softly.
"I thought you'd need a cup," she utters, still gazing at me.

I reach for the handle, feeling the heat seep through my fingertips.
"Thanks."

She continues to watch me while I drink, and unlike the worried expression mom and the rest of the family bears whenever I'm around them, hers resonate calm and serenity.

My eyes trail down to the bracelet around her wrist, the silver chain adorned with charms I'd selected myself; the reason I'd missed the flight. I'd ordered the bracelet a day after I'd landed in Johannesburg, and was meant to pick it up at the jewelry store a week after. But due to a delay in the inscription I'd requested, it got postponed to the day I was meant to leave, and a few hours before my flight. Traffic coupled with some forgetfulness on my part had led to me not boarding the flight by a few minutes, and Allah made that the reason for escaping the tragic incident.