Written For

Chapter 15 ~ Call My Name

1st of April 1796

~Frederick's pov~

My father had some explaining to do. So many odd things were happening in this palace and yet no words about any of these changes were ever expressed to me. From odd receipts for dresses, which could've been for Johanna if not for the fact they were in a different size from her. Seeing my father walk around the castle at night with varying objects such as ropes.

To even letter listing for a job involving espionage. Everything was so oddly placed and something made me feel like my father was doing this behind his back. This fact alone made me feel slightly betrayed, I was the only one in our family still with him and yet he couldn't trust me with whatever was going on.

But I was determined to find out, whether it would take a while or not I needed to know. I was sick and tired of my parents hiding things from me, I know they were allowed to have their secrets, but when they affected me I should at least have a bit of a clue, even if the details were spared.

So walking down this corridor all too similar to me, I pondered every single possibility. But the one that stuck out was that letter my father was planning to send to my mother, I didn't think he would and yet his blind optimism drove him to prepare for whatever way he was going to try and get my mother back. But I knew his plan was flawed, my mother didn't share his optimism and rather was the pessimistic type. Knowing her she would even consider the offer of divorce if it needed the chance of being forced back into a relationship with my father.

No matter what I needed to convince him his plan wasn't going to work. To spare him the pain and anguish that came with rejection. I knew that my father needed my mother at an unhealthy level, but I knew that she was never coming back. And my father needed to accept that fact.

I continued walking along the corridor until someone came into my view, a young boy, maybe a few years older than Charles was walking towards me, he had ebony black hair and brown eyes that gently reflected the moonlight. I looked at him oddly but realised who he was. Harris, or as I knew him my cousin on my father's side. He was the illegitimate child of my uncle Edward and a young maid.

I looked at him slightly confused and he paused looking at me. "Harris, what are you doing here?" I questioned. Harris looked at me nervously, I noticed a pile of papers rested in his arms. "Just attending to my fath- I mean his Highness Prince Edward, he arrived this evening and is staying here for a while." He replied. I looked at him even more confused and he smiled again even more awkwardly.

"I'm sorry Your Highness but I need to get going, Prince Edward made it clear that I should not be late," he replied. I nodded and he bowed before continuing on his path. I sighed slightly but realised and opportunity, Edward could help me convince my father that he should give up on my mother, or even better find him another wife. I quickly turned around and followed Harris and relieved smile forming on my face.

I just wanted to see my father smile without my mother, so we could both forget about her.

~Y/N's pov~

Sitting silently in the small cabin I let my mind relax. We were out at sea now on the course for Britain at this very moment.

Somewhere, miles away the husband I was soon to divorce was also thinking, what he was thinking about was a mystery to me that I never recover. What his mind was occupied with was unbeknownst to me. It had been like this for the past 12 years and yet now I was so desperate to see what was going on in his head.

Was he reluctant? Scared? Sad? Happy? Relived? What emotions did this man, I  pretended to love experience? These questions had already started to float around my mind since the day I arrived on this ship. The only thing keeping me sane was the hope that after all is said and done both George and I could live our lives without each other. I wouldn't have to worry about whether tomorrow I would have freedom and George could move on and be with someone who was good for him. Someone who wasn't like me.

Sure, Caroline wouldn't have a father but it would be better for her. The way Charles, Frederick and Matilda ended up in their lives was reflective of what George made them to be. As much as he claimed to love them, to him they were all born so that he could deem himself successful. Because as he said to me many times before, heirs were a sign of security to the people. I understood what he meant but still scorned the fact that he thought of his own offspring like such.

But of course, there was no changing George and his views, in the past 20 years I've known him not once has he changed his ways. Even after I showed him that his idealistic world view was damaging to everyone around him he continued on his path of having everything the way he wanted.

In a way we were slightly similar, I had always strived for a sense of security. Heck, that was why I was on this dammed boat, it was to make me feel like I wasn't going to be robbed of all my freedom and choice. Either way, I wasn't hell-bent on my security and rather the small soul sleeping beside me.

This time I wanted life to be good, I wanted Caroline to grow up happy and free without the pain Frederick or Matilda endured. Because I didn't hate them, I just hated them who they had become. But this time I would see it to the ends of the world that at least one of my children could happy.

Happy to call me their mother.