As We'll Always

chapter one

   December 23, 2018. You may be wondering why this date is so important; to put it simply, it's the day that my life changed forever and i cannot decide if it was for better or worse but i definitely do not regret anything so far, so i guess that's a good sign. Before i get to far into the story, i'll give some backstory and describe the setting.

   Let's go back to mid-November of 2018. At that time it would be a couple months since i've been emitted into the psychiatric hospital, for reasons i wouldn't understand but according to my files i'm "too disassociated from the world to process and live normally," but i think it's just because my parents were tired of me and couldn't deal with me anymore, but we'll get into that later as well.

   All throughout the month i've been looking out my window that has bars on it for "our safety," but it's just for the ones that are to depressed to think about anything else than hating theirselves and their lives. When i looked out i saw a grey, sad world. Where everything should be green, blue, yellow and bright but it just wasn't anymore; and the more i think about it, it hasn't been that way since i was a child. Believing in Santa Claus and living in puppies and rainbows. When people worried to much about how messed up we would get and watched how they acted and said things around us, when they cared so much that they deemed us as innocent and decreed that we be protected at all cost. But now that we're older, they tell us to follow the laws, to not rebel and shut up because the world isn't ours yet and to wait for our turn; but what if it is our turn because they have broken us so much that we've needed to grow up faster than we wanted and faster than they have. Even though we may not have wanted to, maybe it was for the best, to pop that bubble of perfect-ness and drop into the real world of hate and get our own personalities.

   Now that i've taken up the time enough, we're going to skip to December. They do this thing for the holidays where your family can visit if they want and have a meal with you, and as i've said before, my family could care less of two shits. I was getting prepared to be alone another holiday, i heard sirens and screaming.

   Piercing screaming to the point where i thought i would go deaf, but it wasn't the patients.

   No, far from them actually. I don't have all of the details seeing as it was all just a blur, what i do remember though is running. I didn't know where, i was just running. All that could be heard was my panting, and the crunching of leafs and sticks underneath my feet, and that's when i realized that i only had socks on, that were now poked through and dirty. But i could care less, all i knew was that i was escaping a place that had been my hell for months, although people had it worse being there for years as i heard a kid say in group therapy, i couldn't help but not care; i didn't care about anything these days. But i guess everything is meant to change every once and a while.

   And that's where our story officially starts; me running into the woods and never looking back.

   Hi, i'm Madeline Harper and this is a story about how me and my friends came to be.