Ineffable Husbands Oneshots

Return of Fuck

Got motivated by a TikTok. Enjoy!

Aziraphale picked up on the third ring. In his hand he held six textbook-sized books, smooshed against his chest. His shop was fairly busy for this time of year. He gave a huff before holding the cellphone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Angel! Uhh, are you busy?" Crowley's voice came through, him clearly out of breath.

"Actually, it's been pretty hectic over here. What did you need?" Aziraphale carefully put the books down. He looked up to see the waiting customer, impatiently tapping on the counter. "One moment please." Aziraphale sheepishly have them a small smile.

With a huff the customer pulled their phone out of their pocket, opening a game.

Aziraphale hurriedly walked to the back once more. "Okay, what's the problem?"

"Uh, I, uh, really need your assistance with something. Like immediately." Crowley breathlessly panted out. "I really need you right now."

"Oh fine. Give me five minutes." Aziraphale ended the call, letting out a sigh.

He returned to the front and found the customer had returned to tapping the counter. "I apologize for the wait. Now, what did you need again?"

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Aziraphale stood in front of Crowley's door. He hurried over as fast as he could, forgetting about his ability for miracles. Knocking, he patiently waited for his partner to answer.

After a minute, Aziraphale knocked again. He started to get a bit worried. He grabbed his phone and texted the demon to let him in.

Not getting a reply, he miracled the door open. What he saw amused and horrified him. In the middle of the room Fuck the roomba had a working ceiling fan taped to it with knives attached to the end of each fan blade. It was knocking into the walls, stabbing and slicing them. Crowley has stuck himself to the ceiling. He looked down at the angel, who was very done with everything.

"Uh, hey angel. Could you maybe turn that thing off?" Crowley was a bit pale, looking at the monster he had created.

"I think I should let you deal with the consequences of your actions." Aziraphale walked right back at the door, closing it. Outside of the flat, he let out a long sigh. "Nope. He's gotta figure it out on his own." With that, he went back to his bookshop and muted his phone, which was being blown up with texts and voicemails from his idiot partner.

Also, We're back to college, so there's gonna be random updates and hiatuses, so bare with us.