𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐨 - 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜

Chapter 41: I feel Like I'm Gonna Cry

I yawned as I woke up. I was facing the bathroom door. Which was closed. "Steve?" I yelled as I yawned. I turned in bed to the side where he was sleeping but only saw a paper butterfly.

I grabbed it and opened it.

"Dear Elena, the love of my life...

I don't know how much I'm gonna miss you, because I really love you. Or how many tears I'll cry today, when I separate from you.

This goodbye kills me. Because I'm leaving far, far away from here. And although it's not forever, I'll suffer from your absence.

I feel like I'm gonna cry when I leave, because soon I'll have to leave you.

I wish I could stop time and contemplate when I have you close to me.

Hug me harder once more because soon I'll leave. Along with your sadness I'll go away. But don't be sad anymore, my love, First thing god I'll be back.

Love Steve."

I stared at the letter in confusion. This wasn't right. He should be leaving in two weeks. Unless he was lying to me again. "Shit!" I yelled as I grabbed random clothes and put my shoes on. I didn't even have time to grab my keys, I just ran outside and towards the Curtis house, which I knew they would be because soda was also gonna leave. I ran and ran as fast as I could, holding the letter. It was dark and gloomy outside. It was getting ready to rain. I took bigger breaths as I felt the air being sucked right out of me. With every step I took.

I made it to the house and walked in. I panted as I saw the gang sitting around the living room in silence.

"No." I said quietly.

"No!" I yelled as tears began to fill my eyes.

They looked at me.

"He was supposed to leave in two weeks. They were both supposed to. I don't. What happened?" I said I brought my hand to my burning chest. My whole body was failing. I felt like I couldn't breath. Like I couldn't swallow.

Everything was wrong. And I only wanted someone to tell me what's going on.

"You didn't know?" Darry asked.

"No. I-. He told me he was leaving in two weeks. I only found out today." I held onto the door frame. Meredith looked at me.

"Did you know?" I asked as I looked at her.

She nodded.

I began crying.

"Meredith why didn't you tell me. Why did no one tell me. This was the last chance I had to say goodbye to him and I lost it. This was the last chance that I could say I love you, the last chance I had to hug him, to kiss him. It was the last chance I had before he had to leave. And I lost it!" I yelled. I began hyperventilating. I brought both hands to my chest and held onto the letter tighter. This was the last thing left that I had of him.

Meredith came up to me and held me.

"Hey. If I didn't tell you was because he didn't want me too. He said he would tell you and I thought he would. Listen, he was very sad. And he told me to tell you that you have to be okay. That you have to live to your promise. He says he loves you. And will always take you with him in his heart." Hearing that only made me cry harder.

The love of my life was getting drafted. He could get killed. He could never come back to me. And that's something I could never bare. All I had now, was to pray. Pray he wouldn't die. And that he would come back to me. His words from the letter rang in my head. Over and over again. Like a carousel.

"I don't know how many tears I'll be crying"

"I feel like I might cry."

"First thing god I'll be back."

And just like they say. The carousel never stops turning.