After Everything

HARDIN

I can not believe her, how is she assuming Emery is bad like how I was. None of our children saw my 'bad boy' phase, so how will they know. How did the conversation turn out to this argument? Oh yeah, Auden... I do not want him to become like me if it makes Tess like this. I do not want anyone to become like me; a useless piece of shit.

My phone rings and it reads 'my baby 💕'.. It's Tess. I decide its best not to pick up, I just need some time to think and relax for a bit. Who knew being a parent would be so difficult. Not me, that's for sure. I didn't even plan to be a dad, not until Tess came to my life and ruined it with her perfect self.

I end up feeling guilty for missing her call, so i decide to call her back and she picks the line up, immediately. "Hardin, I am so sorry. I do not know what was going through me when I said all of them mean and nasty things to you." Tess rambles as soon as she knows I can perfectly hear her voice.

"Tess,  I know you think I am a bad role model to the kids but I do not by any chance, regret who I am. I love the way I am, and I do not complain about your flaws because think its makes up who you are, the blue eyed girl I fell in love." I say and up hear sobs through the phone and my eyebrows begins to scrunch together, furrowing. "Babe, are you crying?"

"Oh, Hardin. That was so romantic." I make a face, even though she can not see me. "I think its the pregnancy that made me feel so many emotions at once, please forgive me."

"Your always forgiven, even if it hurt me like hell." I know I can not see her but I can tell she wiping her tears, smiling as she's doing it. "But, promise me one thing."

"I promise." She says.

"You will promise me to never mention my past to anyone because we both know your ashamed of it." I tell her, swallowing hard.

"Babe, I never was or will be ashamed of your past." Tess tells me and before I could say anything she cuts me off. "I think it was the hormones that made me reflect every good in you, bad.

"I dunno know, Tess..." I say, and I realise it sounds like I'm accusing her of lying what she thinks if me as an individual.

She interrupts me again with. "Now you have to promise me one thing." The voice inside of her, you could easily tell she is demanding me.

"Alright, I promise." I tell her closing my eyes and breathing in and out.

"You promise me to never leave me with or without the kids because I have been a bad mother and wife." Her voice breaks as she says this, which I found surprising.

"What the fuck Tess. You are hella crazy if you think I am going to leave you any time soon. I do not know if you realised but I am crazily in love with you, I'm addicted to you, with equal parts of pleasure and pain."

"See, you are too romantic and I do not deserve you."

"You are right, you deserve better." Before saying this though, I began to nod in agreement and roll my eyes at myself when she can't see me.

"No." Tessa tells me sternly. "You are to good for me."

"If you say so." I know that she is rolling her eyes at me, that I keep denying her and I shake my head. "Anyways babe, I need to go." I tell as I checked the time and its nearly time to pick Auden up, its already been two hours since I left the house.

As I drive, parking where I see my son standing. "Hey dad!" He says, enthusiastically, I give him a look at his weird vibe that he is giving off but he does not do or say anything apart from putting his seatbelt on, because he knows that safety is key and does not want to be involved in a car crash.

I know for a fact if I did not speak to Tessa what she said  would have struck onto me like a lightning, more than before but thankfully we got the argument out of the way. "Is there anything you need to say Auden?"

"Nope." He tells me popping the 'p' after his eyes widen like we knew something, Damn right we know something.

"You sure?" I ask, glancing over him and he shakes his head. "Not why you were late?

I watch him unzip the bag to show me a bottle of blast.--- the best drink in the world by the way, especially the blue raspberry flavour---. "I brought myself a drink since I forgot to take some juice from home and usually you drop me off but since I walked it, it ended up taking much more longer to arrive at school." He informs me and I smile back, wondering how he got that drink because I know what he has been up to.

"You do realise, I know what happened." I tell my son whilst he gives me a look to explain my explanation a bit more further, which I gladly do so. "I just want to start off with, I told you and Emery not to do this type of shit but looked where it got your sister, she did weed and got pregnant... obviously you won't get pregnant, but that doesn't mean you won't get a girl pregnant-" I begin to ramble and I look at my not so innocent child.

He ended up shouting to watch out, and as I looked up, the last thing I see is a black vehicle driving to my car.