𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓 || 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐊𝐔

six

Just trying to show a bit of what Hitoshi is going through in this chapter, sorry if it's confusing but you'll learn more as the story goes on. 

please vote and comment. <3

Izuku was nervous when Shinsou pulled into his driveway. He was fumbling with his fingers again, picking at the loose skin surrounding it. He didn't understand why he was so nervous, he's stayed the night before, but only once. And this was a different situation, he wasn't protecting his friend with Hitoshi in the other room, he honestly didn't know what would happen after he entered that door. 

"Want pizza?" he asked, getting out of the vehicle. He waited until Izuku got out and walked towards the door to hit the lock button. He then opened the app on his phone, quickly placing the order so they didn't have to stay up longer than they already have. 

"Oh, sure." Izuku smiled, his nerves were still going crazy, but he managed to play it off as he followed Hitoshi all around the house. He stopped once he crashed into his back, rubbing his nose as he looked up at the lilac haired male. "Izuku, are you okay?" He didn't understand why Izuku was being so clingy, why he was following him around like lost puppy, when he has stayed the night before. He also noticed how robotic he was being, giving a quick yes or no answer without really thinking about it. "Are you nervous cause it's just us?" he questioned, he watched as Izuku's mouth dropped, he stuttered as he tried to get the words out and he took a few steps back. 

Hitoshi took a step forward as the greenette took a step back. They continued to do this until Izuku's back pressed up against the wall, which was only a few steps, his breathing hitched when his back was fully pressed to the cool wall, and Hitoshi's warm body lightly brushed his own. He started to wonder what Hitoshi was going to do, how would he react? Would he even react at all or will he tense up and allow the older boy to do whatever he pleases? He couldn't even make up his mind, so he squeezed his eyes shut so he didn't see what he will do next. 

"I won't do anything," he mumbled softly, but Izuku kept his eyes squeezed shut as he felt his breath on the side of his cheek, "unless you want me to, doll." Hitoshi shifted himself back, watching as Izuku's face turned a dark red color. He felt a pang in his chest, this whole thing reminded him of him. Hitoshi took a shaky breath in, using his fist to push himself away from Izuku and turning around, "I'm going to get a change of clothes for us." He could feel himself start to get emotional, different emotions flooding his mind as he was never able to cope with his past. He just distracted himself with weekly parties, as well as covering his pale skin with dark ink. It was the only thing that distracted himself. Except for right now, he wasn't able to distract himself and everything was flooding back into his mind-- he was drowning. The memories of his last boyfriend started to go over and over in his head. He remembered Kaminari being just as scared, and fragile looking when they were intimate for the first time. It was almost as if he was watching a movie, and he just wanted it to end. He needed to get him out of his head, he's gone now. He's gone forever and he wished he could accept that.  He didn't even realize that he was crying until the tears dropped down on his hand, streaming down into the shirt he had bawled up in his fist. He wiped his face, multiple times as he changed out of dirty clothes. 

"h-hito.. the pizza is here." he heard Izuku from the other side of the door, he wiped his face one more time as he grabbed the clothes he had for Izuku, then opened the door. He tried to avoid allowing Izuku to look at him until he knew his face was back to its regular, dull color. "Change into this-- sorry," he stated as his shoulder bumped into Izuku's. He went down stairs to look for the food, seeing that he set it down in the kitchen. He grabbed the plates, setting Izuku's by the box as he got two slices of pepperoni, and plain cheese. He took a bite, the cheese, going to the fridge to get two water bottles. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he seen Izuku standing in the doorway, his hand rubbing his arm as he stood there. Hitoshi could cut the tension in the room with his fingernail. He didn't understand why there was any. Does Izuku want to leave now? Did he scare him off for good? 

"I-I'm sorry I didn't give you an- an answer. I got scared-"

"Give me an answer?" He was puzzled, but then he realized. Izuku thought he wanted  an answer, that he wanted to get an answer. 

"Y-Yeah. I've never.. uh, been intimate.. I-'m sc-cared" he could see Izuku was starting to tear up, did he think he was mad at him? Hitoshi set the waters on the counter, walking over to Izuku and engulfing him in a tight hug. He didn't even think of how Izuku would take the comment, he should have thought twice because he knew Izuku had bad anxiety. He felt awful. He didn't want Izuku thinking he only wanted sex from him, that it was some kind of payment for allowing him to stay over. 

"Izuku, what I said was what I meant. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, and I wasn't trying to scare you. I don't want you thinking that you have to do something with me, you don't. It was just an offer cause, yeah.." He honestly didn't know how to end the sentence. He just hoped that Izuku understood that he would never pressure him into something he didn't want to do. 

It was quiet for a few minutes, they didn't make any eye contact. 

"Does that mean you like me?" Izuku blurted out, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as soon as it uttered from his lips.