Charmed

Chapter Twenty Three

I spent the next two weeks lying to everyone I cared about. Lisa and Darius' new servant, Lyon, came and woke us every morning with breakfast. Darius and I would eat together in the solitude of our chambers, undisturbed until Claude would come upstairs to retrieve me for our daily riding sessions. After becoming Queen, I had been allowed to choose any horse that I liked in the stables to become my own. I had chosen a white mare that looked almost identical to the horse that had helped me escape the barn, a brown star covering her face. I called her Ferne.

After the riding sessions, I would come back to my chambers and change into a gown, usually leaving my hair down. I would visit Darius for lunch before retreating to the library, instead telling Darius that I was going to take a walk of the castle or that I was visiting Heather. Despite promising Joyce that I would never perform the spell again, it was what I did daily until dinner. And I had almost perfected it.

During the last half of the second week, I had somehow managed to force myself to not pass out or let my eyes roll back into my head. I watched my mother's form take shape, and she was suddenly in the room with me. I was awake to see her yet I was the host, something that Joyce had told me was impossible. It was the proudest I had been of myself for a long while.

"Gwen, you need to stop doing this," Ma said. It was late, closer to dinner than I had been for a fortnight. I knew if I wasn't fast enough, Darius would come looking for me and discover that I had been lying for so long.

"We don't need to stop, Ma," I told her. I was becoming dependent on talking to her every afternoon. I'd told her so much, and she had helped me just the same. "This is lovely."

"You're putting too much of a strain on your body," she said. She leaned forwards and pushing the sleeve of my dress up, revealing the scratches that had appeared after I had spoken with my mother alone for the first time. "And you're lying, to everybody."

"It's fine," I said, dismissing the subject and rolling my sleeve back down. "You're here, that's what matters."

"I am here only because you brought me," she reminded me. "Something you shouldn't be doing. I saw you promise the Queen mother that you wouldn't try again."

"But look at what I've achieved. You're here, in the same room as me, again."

Ma smiled sadly, pushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Honey, seeing you on your wedding day was enough for me."

My eyes narrowed slightly. "So, you don't want to see me anymore?"

"That is not what I said."

"But it's what you're implying."

"No." Ma sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I worried that this would become an addiction for you."

"I'm not addicted to anything, Ma." I crossed my arms and stood up, pacing a little while Ma remained cross-legged on the floor. "I just want to see my mother. Is that such a crime?"

"When she's dead," Ma said quietly, "yes." She stood, too, reaching for me. I backed away, not being able to subdue the sudden anger that was rising. I knew the magic was partly the reason for my mood changing, but I couldn't stop it. "Gwen, you had moved on. Yes, you missed me. Yes, you loved me. That was all I needed. This is just forcing you to be stuck in the past."

"You shouldn't have died!" I shouted, tears building up behind my brown eyes. Her blue ones crinkled with a sad smile, unshed tears making them glisten like sapphires. "It wasn't fair."

"I know, and I wish I didn't have to leave you so soon." When she reached for me this time, I allowed her to put her palm on my cheek. I leaned into her touch, wetting her skin with my tears. "But I did. And you made your peace with that. This is... this is unnatural, sweetheart."