I DO, BUT I DON'T (Available in paperback & eBook-SAMPLE)

Chapter 1

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(Cole)

I glanced at my watch, as I made my way along the hallway. In four hours my brother would be a married man. I shook my head. I couldn't believe he was getting married before me. I had always thought, since I was older, that I would take the plunge first. I wasn't bitter that he was marrying before me. He found the one meant for him and I was happy for him.

Knocking on Neil's door, I opened it and stepped into the bedroom. He was sitting on the side of the bed, slumped over with his head in his hands. I moved toward him, asking him if he was all right. He straightened up and looked at me with eyes the same shade of blue as mine. We had similar features, same nose and strong jawline. While his hair was brown mine was black.

"I can't do it," he croaked. "I can't marry Lori."

I smiled at him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You're experiencing cold feet. I've heard it's normal for the groom to be anxious and to have doubts on his wedding day. You'll be fine after the ceremony is over. In the meantime take deep breaths and-"

"No." He shrugged off my hand and rose from the bed. "No, I won't be fine. This is more than cold feet. I love Lori, but not enough to spend the rest of my life with her. I don't want to grow old with her or have kids with her."

I frowned at him. "How long have you felt this way?"

"For a while now," Neil said, rubbing the nape of his neck. "I thought if I ignored it, it would go away."

"Feelings like that aren't going to go away," I told him. "You shouldn't have let it get this far. This is your wedding day for Christ's sake. You should've ended the engagement when you realized you didn't want to marry her."

"I know that," he snapped. "I fucked up."

I sighed heavily and passed a hand across my face. "What's done is done. You need to go and see Lori. She's going to be heartbroken. I don't know -"

"I wrote her a letter." Neil crossed the room and picked up an envelope from the dresser. "I thought you could give it to her for me."

"You have got to be kidding me," I uttered coldly. "You're breaking up with your fiancee on your wedding day via a letter and you want me to give it to her. Grow a pair of fucking balls."

Neil tossed the envelope on the bed. "You don't understand."

"You're right," I said. "I don't understand."

"I can't bear to see the pain and disappointment in her eyes," he said.

"You owe it to her to break the news to her face." I headed for the door. "I'll take you to see her."

"Give me a few minutes," Neil said.

"Come get me when you're ready to leave," I said. "I'll be in the kitchen."

"All right."

I went downstairs to the kitchen, where my housekeeper and cook, Berta, was loading the dishwasher. A short woman in her mid fifties, she had sharp gray eyes and red hair she wore in a bun. She had been with me for four years and was a Godsend. She kept this house running smoothly.