The atmosphere seemed muted somehow. Everyone they had to pass by spoke as little as necessary, communicating by hand gestures when possible. I was reminded of a phrase: "death is a solemn affair".
The inmate in front of me spoke in a low voice to the man in a suit, the man who would be responsible for the former's death. From my position behind the two, I could hear clearly the words said.
"...of time to think about this moment. More than enough. Sometimes I regretted what I did. But that regret was never as tangible as it is now. I used to regret it because-- Well, I still regret it because of this, but it seems secondary. So I used to regret it because if I had just done things differently, I wouldn't be marching to my death right here, right now. And I used to regret it because there was so much I missed. Never went on a date, never went to a baseball game, you know? Nothing. I still regret it for those reasons, but now I have another one, one that never came to me until today.
"In all my time in here, it never set in that a fella would have to kill me. I knew I was going to die, but it didn't hit that another human being would be the one to kill me. And sir, I regret what I did for so many reasons, but none of them as badly for this one: that I had to make another person take a life. And for that, I apologize. I am so sorry for putting you through this, and that people like me exist that make your job necessary. I'm sorry, sir."
I glanced back and forth between the two of them. The executioner was keeping, in my opinion, an impressively calm expression. In an even tone, he replied. "Thank you, Mark."
A period of silence, a few more steps, a few more doors. The man spoke again. "That means more than I can explain."
The inmate nodded and laid himself on the gurney.
