INDECISIVE • KNY

Twelve

Death was such a cynical thing, it was ever present in the daily lives of demons and humans alike yet the distance one had with it was tremendous as well, like reaching out to a never ending void of something peculiar and unholy, as if one should be ready to offer their life before even thinking of exploring the darkness where wendigos live like a wanderlust-struck soul or a lone traveller who lost their way.

But nonetheless you thought of it as much as you could, amaranthine orbs habitually sparkling in delight at the mere idea of it. It was not that you craved it nor did you seek its presence as fear always resided within your cosmic chest whenever it drifted into your thoughts, from faded to extremely vivid, it differed like a dream where oftentimes you wouldn't even remember circling the unknown. But know as warm tears stream down sweat-coated cheeks like it's supposed to belong there, you think of death like it is everything you know.

The blood on your fingertips feel too much, like every second they are there is another minute in Gehenna or at the least, purgatory. You've always carried a subtle dislike for displayed weakness, perhaps you were far too influenced by the aloof and never-changing expressions of Kokushibo that you forgot that humans were so feeble, beings that were so pitiful and bone-achingly weak that you rely on things like gods to guide you on a path you've been told too many times.

Akiyama is huffing, her breathing staggers and stumbles but she does not falter as her hold on your wrist tightens even more so and although there's a sting on the area, you find no energy inside of you to release a complain or a word of gratitude, your mouth is severely dry and your throat tightens like a snak has coiled around your neck with the imminent threat of death apparent and approaching. Nothing left to do, you continue to run alongside the capable and dependable female as compliance to her wish of survival. You're nothing more but a living baggage at this point but you think of Kokushibō, you think of Akaza, and you think of Gyutaro and Daki, and your legs quicken their pace though still trembling.

"Are you okay?"

She asks you, words are laced with concern and worry and somehow it makes you feel less like Atlas, like a shard of your humanity has been returned to you by Persephone and you can finally breathe again without too much strain on your lungs. It's hard to speak but you preserve through clenched jaw and gritted teeth, through tear-stained cheeks and stung eyes, you let words tumble pass your lips like a broken mantra or an unfinished and babbled prayer but it's enough, it's more than enough when you've seen death.

"y-yeah, I'm fine... I'm fine."

You sound like you're saying it more to yourself as a reassurance that your sanity is still in tact and you need to survive because your heart is still pounding against your bones than a response to Akiyama's query but she says nothing of it. She's seen death and she knows that you're trying to keep yourself from falling apart like artifacts of a lost civilisation, she hates the sight of the blood that stains your oni mask and she is livid when she hears the little hiccups and whimpers that manage to escape your lips. It's not like she's doing any better, the man that died wasn't an acquaintance or someone she met beforehand but he was human, like you and her, he had a family and love to give.

She hasn't seen your features, your eyes are a mystery and your expressions are an unsolvable puzzle or a map of Atlantis but she knows you've lost a little bit of hope. You're far too young to be here, she had thought this from the moment you arrived at the entrance of the dreaded battlefield. Your stature was short, something you'd expect from a child less than 10 years of age and your shoulders looked like you would fall the moment you were shoved but the blade you held and the way you straightened your spine made most swallow down their words.

"We'll survive this! We just need to hide from the stronger demons for seven days!"

She encouraged with an enthusiastic grin spread across her cheeks like a martyr or a ray of hope, she glances at you for a moment just enough to let you catch sight of the smile and it brings you some sort of relief that dwells in your chest, lingers for a moment but it's enough, just enough to keep you going as your steps become more frequent, feet colliding with the ground silently as you allel overtake Akiyama. If there's one thing you're capable of, it's sprinting like the next dawn is nonexistent.