leaked (l.h.)

10

t.w.// rape

It had been a while since I had been in the theatre.

Since, like, last year.

If you were to ask me why I had suddenly dropped it all and forgot about the sort of high that stage lights gave me, or the sort of captivating way that it felt to know that your voice was the only thing anyone in the room could hear, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Besides the fact that Tyler hated the way I put my rehearsals above his football games or the way Arzaylea hated the newfound fame I had found... I'm not sure why I had decided to give into their pleas to give up theatre. For a while, it was the one thing that I had that made me genuinely happy. And I gave it up. For what?

"These stairs are so narrow," Luke almost yells behind me, trailing closely as I lead him up a spiral staircase above the stage.

"Shh..." I chuckle, turning to him as I watch as his blue eyes move from his feet and to my eyes. "You're going to give us away."

"Sorry," he smiles widely, whispering as he lets out a soft giggle. I like the way his laugh makes me feel... almost like a melody. It's such a beautiful sound.

I lead him up above the stage, through the costume storage and across a bridge that guides us across the stage. It's dark and dusty, but Luke and I tend to be attracted to places like this.

"I didn't know this existed," Luke says as he watches me sit on the bridge, letting my feet hang into the air above the stage.

"Not a lot of people do," I explain, breaking the silence I've been carrying me ever since I broke down in the hallway just a few moments ago. "I was just lucky."

Luke sits closely beside me, his thigh to mine as he looks down to the ground below me. He's silent, probably picking up on the sort of energy I give off. He's smart, and although I wish he would start a conversation first I understand why he's hesitant to.

So instead, I start it.

"So..." I begin, turning to him as I rest my arms on the bar in front of us. "I thought you said you were going to spill your guts to me?"

"Oh no," he laughs, his voice still barely above a whisper. "I wouldn't want to put you through that."

"I put you through it," I reply, watching how he leans forward to do the same. "Tell me, Luke, have you ever been in love before?"

"Once," he begins, smiling softly as he watches my feet swing out. My shoelace is untied. "Back in fifth grade. Her name was... Hayley, I think."

"Hayley," I repeat, nodding softly as I flutter my eyes closed. "Was she your girlfriend?"

"No," he shakes his head. "She scared me."

"Scared you?" I laugh, peeking my eyes open despite how heavy they are. "I thought you loved her?"

"I did!" He shakes his head as he grins from ear to ear. "She was a bully. And she made fun of me for being chubby."

"Oh no! What a bitch."

"I know," he shakes his head. "I don't know why I loved her."

"I get it," I take a deep sigh as I move my head to look down at my feet. "I have a tendency to love the people who hurt me, too."

"Do you still love him?" He asks. "Tyler?"

"No," I answer honestly. For the first time I say it out loud as I straighten my back. "He sort of ruined that when he grabbed me."

"Is that what that is?" He asks, right as I feel a soft hand once again take my wrist.

"Yeah," I say, turning to him as I realize that he knew this entire time. "I'm sorry I lied to you."