Abeyance

Aubrey

The light lays across my eyes through a split in  my white linen curtains. I roll over in a sad attempt to evade the light but it dances over my shoulders and makes it's way to my eyes once more. It pries its way through my eyes intruding on my happiness and my slumber. I turn to lie on my back and a long awaited sigh exits my mouth. A troubling thought enters my mind unprovoked, Im seventeen today.

I am officially one step away from adulthood.It feels so close and yet so far. I'm seventeen the most irrelevant age in our society. I'm not young and docile anymore but I'm not quite ready to assume control of my life or anything just yet. I can't be told what to do but I'm not quite old enough to give the orders yet. This age feels like a state of limbo almost, not quite in heaven not in hell.

I climb out of bed trying not to take pity on myself and head to my bathroom. I follow the same routine everyday and at the same time to if I'm able to pull myself from my perfect dream world back to reality. I start by brushing my teeth and end with my hair. Since my hair is short I usually just rake a comb through and enhance my curls with water. Cutting my hair was and is the best decision I've made in all of my seventeen years. Everyone thought I'd regret it (everyone mostly being my mom) but they obviously didn't know me as well as they thought they had. I love the fact that I'm low maintenance now I used to never go anywhere because I didn't know how to take care of my hair now I just don't go anywhere because I'm an angst filled teen who likes her alone time.

I head to my closet and I decide finally to wear my long pink spaghetti strap summer dress with my white worn chucks. I get dressed quickly seeing as a annoying text from my mother appears on my phone screen. It reads "I'm in the car. 5 more minutes your making me late btw happy birthday baby girl" . I roll my eyes but hurry to finish dressing. I stop by my mirror and inspect myself critically looking for any detection of a flaw or flaws in my case. Aside from my inescapable chubbiness I think I look alright. On my way out of my room I take my black knitted sweater (which is also known as my security blanket) just in case this opinion of myself changes throughout the day (as it almost always does).

I make my way to the car and find my mom glaring t me through the windshield I smile awkwardly hoping to get back in her good graces. As quickly as my butt hits the seat she starts on her rant, "do you know how long I've been waiting for you? You always make me late. How many times do I have to tell....." .
At some point or another I just block her out because I know this speech line for line. In order to let her believe I'm still listening I nod and say " yes. your right. im sorry. of course.." as if I were a scratched record playing on a loop. She finally stops and I throw my head back on my seat,recline my chair, and close my eyes in an attempt to escape this dreadful car ride. Well I wouldn't say dreadful because on most days I enjoy my mother's company but on days like this where she's irritable it's best to just escape while you can. I pop in my earphones to listen to music but also to complete the misunderstood teenager look I rock so well. I start to play Dreams by Fleetwood Mac and I crack a smile at my joke. I guess that was a really bad idea because my mother then says " I'm glad you think being late is funny". A tad Suprised and exhausted that she's still going I look over at her and give her a tired smile an then continue to focus on the road ahead letting the disappearing ground lull me to sleep.

Before I know it I'm at school getting pushed out of the car in a loving yet forceful way by my mother. She continues to drive off but not before yelling a rushed I love you have a great day! out of the window. I smile at her antics and say mostly to myself I love you to mom. I press on past the main gate to my first period. I don't know how I managed to slip in without Mr.Hawk noticing me but mission accomplished, or so I thought. With his front still facing the white board he says " Aubrey I'm glad you could join us"  in the most monotone voice you ever heard. Everyone looks confusingly at one another wondering how he's able to do that.
One kid looks impressed but unsurprised at his friends and says " they don't call him Hawkeye for nothing" .
I let out a exasperated sigh and say "sorry Mr.Hawkey- I mean Hawk I got held up in traffic" .
He continues to write today's lesson on the board and let's out a exasperated sigh to match mine "I can understand that try to work on your attendance in the mean time right now we are learning about platos theory of knowledge open up your book to page 137 and read for the class what it says" . I knew this was payback for being late but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. As I began to read I started to love how Plato saw our quest for knowledge, he compared our quest for knowledge to how a midwife brings forth a child. Plato was suggesting that our ideas and our thoughts come from the depths of our soul and our quest is to uncover what's buried beneath us all. In awe of what i was reading I was interrupted by a knock on the door.
I hesitated but asked "shall I continue?"
Mr. Hawk said "No the front office did say earlier that I would be expecting someone just one moment" . He made his way to the door and the class waiting in anticipation to see who it was but I went back to reading the passage.
Like a crowded arena I began to hear a uproar of cat call whistles and swooning sighs fill the room. To my dismay I just had to look up from my book out of curiosity just to see what all the fuss was about.

Oh dear

I have never in all my seventeen years seen a man as gorgeous as him. I've never seen dark black curly hair lay upon someones eyes so delicately before now. I've never seen such strong hands hold a " I love coffee" mug like his are right now.  In the midst of my indecent staring he interrupts and clears his throat.

He smiles and says "well hello class my name is Mr. Andrews" .

Hope you guys stick around for more 🤍