"Guys, we have to stay on schedule. We don't have time for this, sleep when you're dead," a frowning Sokka yelled to a bunch of uninterested faces. "Sokka, we just wandered through the desert for over a day, with no help from you hallucinating on cactus juice! We're tired and dehydrated. We need to rest," Katara chided. Aang's scowl didn't leave his face, but nodded in agreement with Katara without meeting anyone's eyes. Toph groaned, "I hate to agree with the Sugar Queen here, but she's right. I think my feet have sunburn from walking in the sand for so long. I could take a break." Giving an exasperated sigh, Sokka raised his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay, fine. Majority wins. Let's set up and get some shut eye."
The gang, minus Toph, walked and found blankets in the local village to replace their sleeping bags which remained with a lost Appa. After setting up camp, Sokka and Katara laid down next to each other in close proximity. Toph earthbended a tent more than 10 feet away from the others. Aang was only a few feet away from the siblings, but did not lay down. He sat up straight against a log with his back facing the group. She stared at the back of Aang with her heart breaking for him. She was out of any ideas of how to help him. All she could offer to him since Appa was stolen was "I'm sorry," which felt cheap and impersonal. What do you say to someone who lost their life companion? And to make matters worse, Appa was one of the few remaining friends from his old life.
Katara continued to look at Aang until she slipped in a deep sleep. The warmth of the sun folded over her, making her doze off easily. As much as he tried to fight the nap, he too started to sense his eyelids drooping. He widely blinked his eyes open several times. He felt resigned to staying awake. Anger and resentment fueling his energy. I hope you're okay, buddy, he thought. He knew blaming Toph for losing Appa wasn't right, but he felt too embarrassed to say anything now. He remembered yelling at Katara and Sokka, too. A memory he wished he could take back so badly. He was embarrassed for going into the Avatar state and wanting to hurt the sandbenders. He wanted justice. To make others feel what he felt. "No," he whispered to himself. This was not who he wanted to be. He looked up to the sky and focused his eyes on one cloud for a short amount of time. This allowed his body to take over and lull him into his first sleep in days.
A silence fell over the group as the light snores and slowed breaths continued for two hours. Katara was the first to wake. She groggily sat up and looked over the group in a state of slumber. She quietly stood up and walked over to the river's edge, where Aang was sleeping against a log. She sat down inches from the water and folded her arms against her chest. She sighed deeply, resting her head on her knees. She startled as she heard Aang's quiet voice in her ear, "Hey, Katara." She clutched her heart, cursing him and his light-as-air gait. Attempting to catch her breath by forcing herself to take a deep breath, she turned her face towards him. "Hey, Aang." They remained quiet for a few minutes. So much said but remaining unsaid. She knew it would have to be him who started the conversation, it had to be on his terms.
Proving her right shortly after this thought, he whispered to not wake the others, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Katara. You were just trying to help." "Thanks. I know you were really upset. I don't know how I would've reacted if I were you, but it would not have been good. I think we were all stretched thin and tired," she said softly. He took a moment to look at Katara, and see the worry and nervousness in her eyes. He felt terrible. His stomach twisted into knots at the hurt he caused her and so many others. He looked away from her, shame weighing heavily on his mind. If his emotions caused this then he didn't want to feel anything again. This was to protect her. This was for her own good.
After a pregnant pause, Katara broke the silence, "Aang, are you okay?" He stifled a cry and swallowed hard. If he turned to look at her, he would not be able to stop crying. He was not ready for that. He exhaled a shaky breath, looking away from her, "I'm okay, I'm going to walk back to camp." Before she could say anything, Aang stood up and walked towards the others. Katara wanted to scream at him, to tell him to feel something because it only hurts more to not feel anything at all. She steeled herself from going after him. She remembers how many people in her village tried to talk to her after her mom died but she wasn't ready to listen for months afterward. She saw her young self in him. His need to protect himself from ever experiencing sadness again reflecting back to her like a mirror. She remained still in the hope that he would realize this isn't the way it needed to be. When he was willing to talk, she would be ready with open arms.
Aang laid down next to Katara's blanket, holding his legs tight into a fetal position. He breathed in her scent, making his heart flutter. His eyelids attempted to fall over and over. He tried to resist but eventually succumbed to closing himself from the world. In his mind, he saw himself and Katara. He imagined how he wanted them to be. He envisioned them smiling and laughing while riding on Appa. His body shook at the feeling of soaring through the air with her and Appa. In his dream, he reached over to kiss Katara on the lips and she returned in kind. He said all the right things and she told him she loved him. His body completely relaxed with a smile on his face. He was imprisoned now in a cage of hurt and shame, but in this dream he was free.
