Starting Over

8

I woke up in my cloths that I had on yesterday, but my shoes were on the floor. I turned on my back, under the fluffy blankets and assorted pillows, in the unfamiliar bed. I fell on my back, grabbing my head and moaning at the blasting pain on my temples. I flinched when someone started moving next to me, I couldn't see him past the puff of the duvet. In a single second thousands of thoughts ran through my throbbing brain.
What if it's Hayes? Did we sleep together? Did we do anything besides that?
Oh God, why did I drink so much? I couldn't even remember half of last night.
I sighed in relief when the boy sat up and it was only Matt.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said in a groggy voice, "How do you feel?"

"Awful." I complained, still holding my head. I could hardly close my eyes without feeling like I was spinning, "How much did I drink?"

"Too much!" He laughed, "I'll get you some water."

I slowly sat up but quickly jumped out of bed to run for the bathroom, surprised I could keep my balance on my weak limbs. I felt sick to my stomach as I sat there throwing up everything in my system, out of my stomach and into the toilet. Matt came back it to find me sitting on the bathroom floor when I was done.

"You threw up last night too." He told me and handed me water and two Advil.
He helped me up and supported me to walk to the bed. I'm glad he did, if not I may have fallen on the floor half way to the mattress.

"We didn't... do anything last night, did we?" I hesitated.

Matt shook his head, I sighed with relief. But at the same time it wouldn't be the end of the world, I was the one to take his virginity.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" He asked.

"Bits and pieces. I remember everything before I drank, after that it's all kind of a blur."

"Do you remember truth or dare?"

"Vaguely."

"You were dared to do something you wouldn't do sober."
His voice was distant and shy, as if he was contemplating if he really wanted to talk.

"I remember the dare, but not what I did." I said, "I just remember Hayes thinking I would kiss him and I said I didn't because even drunk I wouldn't."

"Well you and I kind of made out."

"Oh." I felt the awkward tension rise, but Matt was quick to relieve the tension.

"Think you'll drink that much again?"

"No!" I fell back on the bed again groaning at the impact of my head hitting the pillow, "I'm never having alcohol ever again!"

"That's a lie." He teased, "You loved it at the time."

"I bet I did."

I tried to stand up, stupid ideas, I fell back down when I felt my legs shaking and my head pounding. Everything was aching.

"I think you're hungover." Matt laughed at me.

"No shit." I mumbled.

"Just stay here for a while. You can go back when you can walk."

I agreed to the idea and closed my eyes for some rest. I couldn't sleep a wink with the spinning feeling whenever I closed my eyes, so I just laid there with my water in the silence.

Matt left me in the room by myself. The door opened after about 30 minutes, I turned to see Hayes walking in.

"Get out." I groaned.

"That's no way to greet your friend."
He walked to the bed and jumped on top of me. He felt like he was 10,000 pounds on my aching bones.
I managed to push him off of me, "Fuck you! Get out."

"Don't use that tone with me princess!" Hayes stiffened. I hated hearing him call me princess, especially in his sassy and pricy voice. "This is my frat house you're in."

"Don't act like you own the air I'm breathing." I complained, "It's not your frat house."

"Close enough to it, I am the president here."

I sat up on my elbows, looking at him with a flustered expression,
"Well damn." I chuckled.

"What?" He turned to sit facing me.

"I never would have pictured you to be a frat boy, no less the president of the fraternity."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because," I slowly sat up, "if you go in a frat boy's closet you're suppose to find Lilly Pulitzer bow ties. Doubt I would find one in yours."

Hayes cracked a smile and stood up. He walked over to his closet, opened the two door and reached to the top shelf. He pulled down a small basket and began to rummage through it until he pulled out a colorful piece of fabric. He dropped the basket, turned back to me, and tossed the colored fabric at me. I held it up to examine it.
I couldn't hold back my small smile, but God knows I tried, when I saw the old Lilly bow tie I bought Hayes years ago.
"I didn't think you would still have this." I said.

"Of course I still have it." He came back to sit next to me, this time he was much closer.

"I guess I just thought you would have lost it or gotten rid of it."

"Why would I get rid of it?" He chuckled.
I opened my mouth, but didn't speak, I only shrugged my shoulders.
Hayes took the bow tie out of my hands.
He was holding it, just looking at it. "How could I get rid of something given to me" Hayes looked up at me, to meet my eyes, "... by the girl I loved."

I didn't speak or budge, I was only breathing in silence.

Hayes broke eye contact, looking down at his hands, "I really did love you."

I was still quiet. I couldn't bare to speak at the risk of tearing up.

Hayes chuckled then started, "God, I was crazy about you."
I didn't want him to keep talking but I didn't stop him.
"I loved you so... so much. You made me crazy. Sam, you changed me, but in a good way... It was real."
It's like he read my mind, but he still wasn't looking at me. I silently begged him to stop speaking. While I wanted him to shut up, all at once I also wanted to hear every word he spoke.
"I promise," he continued, "it was real. I was in love. Sam..."
Hayes finally turned his face to me. He had glassy eyes, but he was not yet crying.
His lip was so slightly quivering as he quietly said, "I loved you... I-I still do."
A single tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek.