What If?

36

Without a word I strolled behind the couch on the opposite side of Claude before sitting down. We sat in silence for awhile as I stared at Claude who was just looking down. I could only see the outline of him as the moon just barely illuminated the room.

"I'm not here for an apology just...I want some answers." I say quietly. "What more would you like to know? I already told you it wasn't your fault that it was mine. You already know why." Claude mutters quitely.

"Yes, vaguely. I've forgiven your actions towards me all these years but you should know it wasn't for you but me. I've forgiven you but that doesn't mean everything is better suddenly and it certainly doesn't mean you can act like you have been or is some sort of father to me. Maybe we were building up to it, I don't know but I am old enough to be engaged, to be married. It's not like I'm a child anymore, I am a young lady now, I have been for awhile now too." I tell him staring at him.

He was silent for awhile, maybe gathering his thoughts. "Do as you wish. I won't interfere." Claude says quitely. I gritted my teeth waiting, that all? Just as I was about to speak he spoke again. "You shouldn't have forgiven me. Not only can I not make up for what I've done I won't ever be able to get it right. You're this old already it's to late I've already failed, you and her. I already missed so much and I won't get it back. What she wanted me to experience, to do, it's to late. Yet today I imagined as if you were still younger and seeing you with him it put it all back in perspective all over again." Claude slurs before grabbing a glass and gulping it all down at once.

She? My mother he actually spoke briefly about my mother. I scooted a little closer towards him so I could hear more clearly. "She as in my mother... what did she want you to experience?" I ask gazing up at him. For a brief moment I watched his eyes glimmer as he glanced towards me. "Family. She wished for me to raise and love you. One of the very few things she ever asked of me. The last thing she ever asked of me." Claude admitted looking even further away from me.

My stomach burned as tears welled up in my eyes. "She asked you to do something you shouldn't have even be asked of. Why would she even ask you of that? You must've never wanted for me to be born. Then you shouldn't have let her! You didn't love her did you? Since you couldn't even fulfill her last wish, love the child she beared that was yours also. Why'd you let her born me? Why didn't you just kill me right away? Why?" I ask as tears drained from my eyes.

Claude looked at me he was reserved his face emotionless but his eyes. He then reached his hand towards me placing his hand gently on the top of my head. Everything suddenly then became black.

A lovely voice was the first thing I could hear but I couldn't understand what it was saying and it also became brighter around me. Finally I was able to clearly hear as my vision came less hazy. It was a women's voice singing so beautifully. My vision then cleared as I saw a lady with flowing curly golden hair like mine walking away, wearing clothes of a dancer. She was singing as she was walking along, she was like a fairy. I saw a hand reach out for her but I wasn't mine it was a mans hand. She turned around revealing her pink eyes, as she smiled, grabbing the hand that was reaching for her. Then it all faded away again. My mother. From when I saw her in my memories for the first time she looked so much more healthier.

This time I heard the light clicking of heels across stone floor. My vision cleared as I seemed to gaze up the staircase. She came into view wearing a simple but elegant slight purple dress with her hair being decorated with silver and a single purple flower. As she reached the bottom she did a small courtesy and smiled up at me. "You look very handsome, Your Majesty." She says.

"You look beautiful, Diana." Claudes voice could be heard. She giggled taking his hand as they walked away hand in hand. She then did a small twirl giggling. She was so graceful and seemed to shine so brightly. So bright.