Letters FU

First Page

You are my own personal hell.

I think when I get there it would be just like a walk in the park.

Torture?

Torment?

Endless pain and suffering?

I've experienced it all, ten times over, thanks to you.

I will laugh at the devil's face when we meet as he try to break me with his silly torture methods.

I would tell him that whatever he was doing, felt nothing like the pain I experienced when I was with you.

Everyday, it's as if I was walking on thin ice, trying to keep up with your mood swings. I must always be on the watch, always thinking about the things that I must do to keep you from being angry.

Always trying to be on your good side.

I always feel nervous when you don't talk to me, thinking that I have done something wrong.

It's like I'm begging for your mercy. That I am not allowed to live when you are angry with me.

That I am nothing unless you forgive me.

You are worse than flesh eating bacteria. At least they are being true to themselves. Not like you who tries hard to be someone you are not.

I could puke when you do nice things. It's so not you. It's like mixing together raw onion, peanut butter and ketchup.

Reaching out to you breaks my pride and my heart. I must always be the bigger person between the two of us. I must always be the one understanding. I must always be the one doing everything to your liking.

I can get sad sometimes. I may not laugh at your jokes or find things you like, unlikeable. I can disagree with your opinions. You can be wrong, I can be right sometimes.

But you think you know better than anyone. You think that everyone's below you. You think everybody is trash compared to your, oh so perfect, little self.

You can do nothing wrong. You are God's most flawless creation. Dream on.

You are, by no means, anything like that.

Remember, you are my personal demon whose only goal in life was to torment me and make every pain imaginable apart of my daily life.

I think you were always pissed off because when you look at the mirror, you see the true, ugly you.

Your rotting flesh, your rotting soul, your rotting attitude.

You always find the flaws of others because you wanted to have somebody to share your misery.

Your misery, no matter how much you try and scrub off that dirt from existence, it will always be there.

It can never disappear because it's a part of you. It's a big part of you that you'd die without it.

Stop fantasizing that one day, you'd be different.

Stop believing that someday people will like you for who you are.

You don't even like yourself. It would be the biggest miracle of the century if someone likes you for the piece of shit that you are.

Go back to hell or wherever torture kingdom you came from.

I truly believe they miss you there already.