Be My Escape

I Will Carry You

October 2005

Kaelyn's Perspective

The stuff with Brandon was still going on and getting worse. I didn't know how I was still managing to hide it from my parents and my friends had given up trying to convince me to break up with him, but I saw the sadness in their eyes whenever they saw my bruises, despite my best efforts to conceal them. Whenever I hung out with Brandon's friends, they were more than happy to look the other way. I think some of them were afraid of Brandon, afraid of what he might do if they stood up to him.

Tonight was the homecoming game. Dulaney had played against their rivals at Towson High and had lost terribly. At first, Brandon dismissed me and told me to go home, but then he texted me, telling me to come to his friend Josh's house. Josh's parents weren't home and they'd be drinking their disappointment away. I knew I didn't have much of a choice and I was too tired to argue anyway.

I took my bike there. When I got there, the front door was unlocked, and I heard laughing coming from the basement, so I went down. When I got there, I saw Brandon, Jason, Josh, and Sean all sitting around and drinking. There were already quite a few bottles strewn around. Brandon looked up when he heard me descending the stairs.

He smirked at me. "Ah, and here's our post-game punching bag now."

My stomach dropped. "What?" I whispered.

"Come here, babe," he said. He had a look in his eyes that I couldn't explain, but I didn't like it.

"No," I whispered, trying to head back up the stairs, but my legs felt like lead, so I didn't get very far before Brandon was at my side.

He pulled me towards the group by my hair. I screamed and begged for him to let me go, but they just laughed at me. They all stood up and surrounded me.

--

I don't know how long they spent beating me up, but at some point, Jason finally cast doubt on what they were doing.

"Hey guys, maybe we should stop," he said. He'd gotten a few punches in, but he'd gone easy on me compared to the other three.

Brandon laughed. "You're right, she's not worth our time. Let's go."

They all left soon after that, to go god knows where and do god knows what. My whole body hurt and I could barely move, but I was terrified that they'd come back for me, so I tried to clear my head enough to form a plan.

Thankfully, I realized my phone was still in my jeans pocket, so I carefully pried it out and speed dialed the first number. I realized it was set to Alex, who I'd been blowing off lately, but I didn't care. I put it on speaker phone, not trusting myself to be able to hold the phone up to my ear.

"Hey Miller Lite!" He said. I could hear the smile in his voice. He sounded so happy to talk to me, even though I'd been blowing him off for too long. "Miller?"

"Alex..." I whispered.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked.

"I--Brandon...he b-beat me up...I can't move," I whispered.

"Oh god. Where are you? Are you safe?" He asked.

"I'm at Josh Howard's house. His friends...they..." I whispered.

"Are they still there now?" He asked.

"No, they left. I--I don't think they'll come back for awhile, but I don't know. Everything hurts," I whimpered.

"Well, the guys are here, so we'll be right there. Don't move, okay?" He said.

"I don't want them to see me like this," I whispered.

"They're gonna help you, I promise. We'll be there soon," he said.

"Okay. Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome. I love you, Kaelyn," he said. He sounded like he meant it too.

"I love you too," I said.

He had Rian drive them to Josh's house. He stayed on the phone and kept talking to me, telling me about the songs he'd been writing, how his parents were thinking of getting a dog, just random stuff. I'd told him he didn't have to stay on the phone with me, but he was afraid if he didn't keep talking, something bad might happen. It did help distract me from the pain radiating through my body.

Eventually, I heard a car pull up outside.

"Alex, there's a car! I think they came back!" I cried.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's just us, I promise. We'll be in in a second," he said.

"What if the door's locked? I--I don't think I'm strong enough to get up there to let you in," I moaned.

"Shh, let us worry about that, okay? We'll be there soon," he said.

Thankfully, I heard the front door open and pounding feet down the basement stairs. Alex ran to me and knelt down in front of me, followed by Jack and Rian. I could vaguely see Zack by the stairs and I wondered what his problem was, but was in too much pain to care.

I feebly lifted my arms toward Alex and he gently picked me up, holding me in his arms while he was still kneeling on the floor. I could feel him shaking against me.

"Kaelyn, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered into my hair.

"Why?" I asked.

"I--I didn't push hard enough. Maybe if I'd gotten you away from him, this wouldn't have happened," he choked.

"It's okay," I whispered.

"Alex, we should get her outta here," Jack said. His brown eyes were wide.

"I don't wanna move her, what if we hurt her more?" Alex asked.

Jack and Rian looked at each other. "He's right. We should call her an ambulance," Rian said.

"It hurts so much, Alex," I whispered.

"I know, love. We're gonna get you help, okay?" He said, kissing my head.

"I'll call," Jack said.

"Wait--my bike--I took it here," I said.

"Zack, can you get her bike and load it in the car?" Alex asked.

"Yup," Zack said and set off to do that.

Jack came back a few minutes later. "They said they're on their way."

"Okay. Thank you, Jack," Alex said.

"Should we try to carry her upstairs to make it easier on them?" Jack asked.

Alex looked down at me, then back up at Jack, his face torn. "I don't know, I don't wanna hurt her more," he whispered.

"I trust you, Alex," I said.

He looked back down at me, a ghost of a smile on his face. He sighed. "Okay, I'll move you."

He got me upstairs with surprisingly minimal pain. By then, the ambulance was already there. They helped Alex put me on the gurney.

"Where are her parents?" The female paramedic asked.

"Shit, we forgot to call them," Jack said.

"We have to take her now. One of you can ride in the ambulance," she said.

"I'll go," Alex said.

"Is that okay with you?" The female paramedic asked me.

"Yes, please," I whispered.

"We'll meet you at the hospital," Rian said.

"I'll call Kae's parents," Jack said.

"Okay," Alex said. "Thank you guys so much."

They got me loaded in the ambulance. Alex had to sit in the passenger seat, since there was no room for him in the back with me, but he kept turning around to tell me I was gonna be okay and that he was still there. It really helped.