Romeo & Juliet • ASOUE Prequel

three • there's a rat in his blazer

"This is our... secret base, I guess. That's what we all call it, so that's what it is. It's where we hold our special V.F.D meetings and things like that," Lemony says.

Olaf looks around, unimpressed. They're under the bleachers.

It's dirty, dark, uncomfortable and overgrown with plants he's never even seen before. In one corner, there's a bundle of books and paper that's been scribbled on in extremely neat handwriting. In another, there's a small handmade wooden shelf where there are what look like ten small telescopes placed neatly like small, bronze trinkets. There's also a blazer and a tie, which solves the mystery of where the rest of Monty's uniform is.

"What are the meetings about?" he asks.

"Homework, mainly. But this is also where we hold our Christmases and birthdays, and sometimes we help some of the others rehearse their lines if they're taking part in one of the school plays. Well, it's just Beatrice, Kit, Jacquelyn and Jerome. They love the theatre. This year they're doing Romeo & Juliet."

"That's really stupid."

"They don't seem to think so. Kit landed the role of Juliet after auditioning once."

Olaf freezes for a second and then turns to look directly at Lemony. "Are the auditions for Romeo still open by any chance?"

Lemony nods. "The teachers are torn between Jerome and another student called Tommy, but they're going to announce who got the part next week."

"People can still audition for it though?"

"Yes, but I doubt they'll pick anyone new."

"I'm in!" he announces.

"I thought you said it was stupid?"

"What? No, I've always loved the theatre. I want to be an actor when I grow up."

"Oh, okay then," he replies, leaning against the wall. If he sat down then he'd probably get lost in the grass and never get back up again.

"So you haven't auditioned?"

"I've never considered myself as an actor," he says. "I like the concept of plays, but when I'm the one in them it just doesn't seem as fun. They're just nice to watch, really. I've been thinking about taking up a career in reviewing plays and performances for a newspaper."

"Really? I took you for a theatre kid the second I saw you."

"I mean... Beatrice, much to her dismay, got the role of the front of Romeo's horse and she does need somebody to ameliorate her. The word "ameliorate" here means that I could assist her in her unfortunate situation of being stuck playing the role of a horse by offering to play the back end of it. Nobody seems to want to take the role for some reason, so I think it would be kind of me if..."

As Lemony carries on speaking, Olaf zones out a little when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. It's coming from Monty's blazer.

He cautiously steps forward and tilts his head down, not daring to crouch down in case something jumps out at him. When a small furry face gingerly pokes its nose out of one of the pockets, he screams and stumbles backwards.

Just as he does this, as if on cue, Monty rushes in. Kit, Jacques, Beatrice, Bertie, Jacquelyn, Jerome and the boy whose name Olaf doesn't remember follow shortly after.

"What's wrong?" Bertie asks.

"Is there a rat in your blazer?!" Olaf demands in disbelief. He points at Monty's uniform, then at Monty himself, with a shocked expression frozen on his face.

"No! Of course not!" Monty replies. "That would be ridiculous!" He picks up the blazer and cradles it in his arms in the same way a mother would with a baby. "She's a hedgehog."

"A hedgehog?!"

"Her name is Pip," Kit says.

"I found her in a bush in the Graveyard on my first day here," Monty continues. "She was all by herself and she was only a baby. I couldn't leave her to die so I kept her with me and raised her as if she was my own. She really likes warm and secluded spaces, as you may have already guessed. The teachers began complaining when I took her into class with me so I could let her rest in my pencil case, so I had to leave her here. I didn't really need my blazer anyway, so I didn't mind. She's very friendly. Would you like to feed her?"

"No," Olaf says.

"Yes," Kit says at the same time.

"Yes," Olaf quickly corrects himself.

"Great!" Monty replies.

Monty sets his blazer down on the ground, waiting for Pip to make her way out of it before picking it back up again, flipping it upside down and shaking it.

Fruit and vegetables immediately start pouring out. Out of the pockets come apple slices. Out of the sleeves come carrot slices. Out of the collar comes watermelon slices. Out of nowhere comes raspberries. With one final and hearty shake, a whole bunch of bananas lands on the ground with a thud.

Pip immediately rushes over to them and begins nibbling on the skins as though she hasn't eaten in days, whereas in reality her owner had fed her only a few minutes before Lemony and Olaf arrived. Kit happily crouches down in the grass and picks up a couple of the watermelon slices, gently feeding them to the small creature.

"Aren't they supposed to eat bugs?" Olaf questions, edging down onto the ground beside Kit and tilting his head up slightly to keep the grass out of his hair and mouth. It's one of the few things he knows about hedgehogs. Well, maybe it's the only thing he knows about them.

"Well, yes, but lots of other foods are safe for them too. I used to feed her worms but then one day I couldn't find any anymore, so I had to find other things. I'm not feeding her David and Cedric," he finishes with a light chuckle.

"Who on earth are David and Cedric?"

"My caterpillars."

Olaf sighs to himself and shakes his head.

"I know," Monty says, seeing his gesture. "I was left really sad when I couldn't bring any snakes from home." He notices Olaf's sixth weird look of many more to come. "My parents are herpetologists-"

"That means they study snakes," Lemony chimes in.

"Right you are. My house is like the world's greatest herpetology lab. It's amazing. The Reptile Room is my favourite – it's where all of our pets live. Mother and Father are taking care of them for me while I'm away. It surprised and upset me a lot when I was told that I couldn't bring even a single snake here with me to remind me of home. Apparently they would "scare the other students". Who in their right mind would be scared of such a beautiful creature as a snake?"

"Literally everyone," Olaf responds.

Monty frowns at this, and continues watching his pet in silence.

"That wasn't very nice, Olaf," Kit notes.

"I'm really sorry," he replies nearly immediately. He feels embarrassed all of a sudden. He doesn't know if he's nervous because of his exceedingly obvious liking of Lemony's older sister, or the fact that he just apologized for the first time in his life and he needs to take a moment. He stands up very quickly and begins making his way to the exit back out into the field.

"What's the rush?" Lemony inquires.

"Why do you look so horribly embarrassed and self-pitying?" Jacques questions.

"Where are you going?" Beatrice asks.
Olaf racks his brain hurriedly and nervously, and then smiles.

"I have an audition to go to."