Astria Metamorphosis

Chapter 8

Autumn and then winter passed in a certain routine, when one spring morning, Tarkal told me about his next departure for Chassade.- Why don't you go to Circoval as usual? It is not so far away. It is not so much the fact of the greater distance that separated us from Chassade that worried me as the time it would take to make the round trip and therefore as much time as I would have to spend here alone. With my last and too recent misadventure in the forest, this announcement did not delight me at all.- In fact, I was waiting to see your reaction to my announcement before offering to accompany me.I was speechless before this proposal, I didn't expect it at all, and I wasn't sure if I should be happy or worried about it. On the one hand I felt the excitement of a long journey, of the unknown, of discovery, and on the other hand all these same reasons made me anxious. In addition, as I had learned during our history and geography lessons in the county, Chassade is a much larger town than Circoval, and while the former is very much linked to the trade of mountain products, Chassade as its name suggests is linked to hunting, its products and all the supplies a hunter may need. Their respective populations are therefore completely different, the hunters having a much more sanguine, impulsive and brawling character. For a first outing in the city, I must admit that I would have very much preferred to discover Circoval, even with the risks that this visit could represent for my identity.Tarkal drew me out of my reflections:- Well, it looks like I've just presented you with a thorny problem to solve.- Indeed, I didn't think I would have the opportunity to go to town so quickly, do you really think I am ready to face the gaze of others? The idea that there could be so many people in such a small place, and especially that I would have to circulate among them and interact with them, made me nauseous.- If you don't try, you'll never know, and if you don't come with me, you'll have to stay here on your own, you have a choice.And what a choice... But that was it.- Well, I will come, but you will have to explain to me how to behave, how to behave, what I can say and what I absolutely must avoid saying, I don't want to get us into trouble because of my ignorance. And then you still haven't told me why we have to go to Chassade.- Indeed. It is only at Chassade that I find arrows and daggers of good quality, I don't have many arrows anymore and you need daggers, a bow and arrows of your own, I realized that you had no means of defense. You would also need an outfit more adapted and more comfortable than the one you have.The idea had never crossed my mind that I might need such weapons for my defense more than for hunting, but I understood that he must have thought of this when I got lost. He must have felt deeply remorse for not realizing the risk and for never having prepared me for such a possibility. A feeling of excitement came over me:- Am I going to have weapons and clothes of my own?- It seems to me that it is finally time, don't you think?I couldn't help but smile, I was thrilled and more eager than ever to go to Chassade now.- Thank you!I didn't know what else to say.The preparation for this trip was difficult, there was so much to know about knowing how to live or rather how to survive in this type of city. So it was decided that I would stand back, covered from head to toe in order to attract as little attention as possible. This outing would be a real training, I would have to observe my mentor in all his interactions with the Chassadians in order to learn the lessons I was missing about social relationships.It also took some time to gather what we would need for this long journey. We would need dried meat, cookies, apples, a water supply, and a plant kit. The trip as a couple was going to be longer than if we had gone on our own, we would have to climb Ombral in turn and make enough stops since I still did not have the physical condition for long walks.The closer the day of the start got, the more nervous I felt. I started to have trouble sleeping, I spent a lot of time lying on my bed at night repeating the instructions that Tarkal had given me. I also tried to imagine what the trip would be like, the situations and the people I would meet. It all went round and round in my head and kept me from falling asleep, or woke me up in the middle of the night and I couldn't go back to sleep. It was exhausting.And finally the big day arrived, we were ready. Tarkal had lent me some of his clothes, they were a little too big for me, but I took the time to touch them up. They were in fact much more comfortable and much better adapted to the relatively difficult conditions of a trip that would last long days on sometimes impassable grounds. And then I will pass more easily unnoticed this way dressed with a cape and a hood on my head than in a dress. It made me feel weird to wear his clothes, he also looked at me differently dressed like, it made me a little uncomfortable at first, but I got used to it. I even wondered if I was not going to adopt this style of dress on a daily basis and keep the dresses for certain occasions. We had finished loading Ombral, everything was in order, all we had to do was get going, and I was going to be the first to mount it. I had a slight apprehension, our journey had not even begun that I already had a first new experience to achieve. So I approached him, put a hand on his muzzle and tried to communicate my confidence in him. He turned his head towards me and I felt the confidence he was also placing in me, so it was reassuring that I climbed on it. It was a very unique feeling, already to have such a high position, but especially to realize that we are climbing on a living being endowed with intelligence and who willingly and voluntarily accepts to serve us.We set off and passed quite quickly the farthest place beyond which I had ever been. The cottage of Tarkal was located east of the mountains that form a circus around Circoval. There are many rivers that flow down the slopes of these mountains and join to form a river, the Tascon. It is an impetuous, fast and particularly dangerous river that one must cross to reach Chassade. A bridge had been built a long time ago at the narrowest point of the river, but it dominates it by about fifteen toises, is not very stable and a horse can barely cross it. Otherwise there is a ferry much further downstream but it would have taken us at least four more days to make the detour.The first part of our trip passed without problem, we arrived in sight of the bridge at the end of the afternoon the second day. The luminosity declining quickly, we decided to spend the night on the spot and to cross it only the next morning.While I was setting up the camp, Tarkal went to fetch wood to make fire. When he returned, I had prepared our meal and set up our blankets so that we could spend a night that I hoped would be restful. I was already starting to get aches all over and no hope that it would get better in the next few days, so a good night's rest would not be a luxury.While we were eating, I asked Tarkal about the history of Chassade, he told me that it was the most important city in size after Constelaria, where the king resides. Chassade was at the beginning only a hamlet inhabited by a few hunters who had found in this place a particularly abundant site for game of all kinds. The population had therefore begun to trade in hides and meat that proved to be of exceptional quality. The hamlet had thus rapidly expanded and the trade had expanded to include falcons and dogs specially trained for hunting, bows, arrows and daggers to be skinned, bait, lures, everything necessary to prepare the hides, and so on. There is also a peculiarity in the city, those who wish to do so and who can afford it, can hire the services of a professional hunter with his pack and falcons to do a hunting trip for a day or several days and take the product of their hunt with them.We finished our meal long before he finished his story and we each settled on one side of the fire on our respective blankets. I watched him through the flames telling me the history of the city and I kept asking myself, as I did every time he showed me the extent of his knowledge, where and how he had been able to access all this knowledge. He had already told me several times about his past, but from the way he had evaded the subjects that touched him too closely, I guessed that there was something obscure in it. I was now convinced that he had run away from something, but I had no idea what it might have been and what dark events might have brought him to this forest. Still, if it hadn't been for him, I would certainly have died that tragic night when he found me dying in the snow.I felt that the answers to these questions were becoming more and more necessary. I realized that there was a certain distance between us and that he was maintaining it by keeping everything personal to himself. I still didn't understand his motives for saving me, caring for me, maintaining me and keeping me in his home without ever demanding anything in return. I knew I would have to summon up the courage to ask him about this at some point in the future. I end up falling asleep with all these questions in my head and the deep sound of his voice telling me his stories in the background.When we woke up the next morning, the landscape was completely foggy, the bridge became even more gloomy. The mist was floating below the water. I shivered when I thought that we would have to cross it with Ombral. I don't think it ever took me as long to eat and gather our things as it did that morning. I delayed the fateful moment as long as I could, and yet it came.The three of us were standing in front of the entrance of the bridge, a light wind was blowing and I could hear it creaking discreetly. At the moment when I swallowed, Tarkal announced to me:- I will cross the first one with Ombral but first I will make sure that he will support our weight.He handed me the reins of the horse and slowly walked to the middle of the bridge, my fingers tensed on the leather straps, and my anxious gaze did not leave him until he finally came back to us.- He still looks solid to me. There are a few planks eaten away by moss and moisture, but it should be fine. Anyway, we don't have much choice and if I can get through with Ombral, you won't have to worry.I nodded my head without saying anything, unconvinced.So they began the crossing. Tarkal spoke softly to his horse, he had soothing words and held him close so that he didn't get too agitated, I had the impression that the minutes were suspended, I could clearly hear the creaking and creaking of the boards now. Tarkal walked quietly while inspecting each board carefully before setting foot on it.They finally reached the other side, I sighed and realized that I had held my breath. He tied Ombral to the low branch of a tree near the bridge, turned towards me and motioned to me to take the plunge.I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and put one foot on the first board, I opened my eyes again by putting my second foot on it. I held the ropes firmly on each side of my body and stared at Tarkal who was waiting for me with encouragement, so I started to move forward step by step. I was half way there when a gust of wind blew the bridge dangerously, so I crouched down and squeezed the ropes to make my joints white. And there, my gaze fell on the planks, they were not touching each other and I could see the river below me. The water was flowing furiously and forming waves and big eddies when it met rocks, and there were plenty of them, big dark rocks rising from the waves. I also saw the cracks in the wood, the moss nibbling it and making it slippery in places. I could feel the dampness of the rope under my fingers, the smell of rotten boards and the mould covering them. I had the impression that I could perceive with all my senses the multitude of details on which I should not linger, I began to tremble. I could hear that Tarkal was shouting at me not to look at the water, that I had to stand up, that I had to raise my head, that I had to look at him again, at him and only him, but it was stronger than me, I couldn't do it anymore, I was stuck there, in the middle of that bridge that kept swinging from right to left.This permanent movement made me want to vomit, I was no longer thinking clearly, I was so afraid that I didn't even dare close my eyes anymore. I was completely focused on the gloomy sounds he was making while moving, and suddenly I felt Tarkal's hand on mine, he had come to me without me even realizing it. I looked up at him, I couldn't even understand what he was saying to me, I could see his lips moving, but the words that crossed them didn't make any sense. Yet I understood instinctively what he wanted, what he expected from me. I used violence to let go of the rope and take his hand, I stared at his eyes and nothing else. I slowly straightened up to stand up straight, so he started walking backwards very slowly without his gaze leaving mine. My brain was completely empty, I moved forward only because he was moving. Time was as if suspended. We finally reached the other side and when my two feet landed on solid ground, I collapsed.I didn't even realize that tears were streaming down my cheeks. Tarkal knelt down in front of me and before I reacted, he held me in his arms and rocked me gently like a baby is rocked to calm down and go back to sleep. He whispered words of calm to me as he had done earlier for Ombral. I didn't make any sound, I could hardly get out of the torpor I had been in during that crossing. His words comforted me, they succeeded in chasing away my anguish and little by little I regained the upper hand. I started to shake and finally I moved away from him, thanking him for coming back to get me. I stammered. Once again it was him who had come to my rescue, it was in danger of becoming a habit, what a poor adventurer I was.- You are once again my savior... Thank you.- I wasn't going to leave you in the middle of this bridge and leave... and then I start to appreciate saving damsels in distress!He was also starting to be funny, it wasn't too much like him, but I appreciated him trying to distract me like that.I smiled as I wiped my cheeks and chin from the last tears that were still wet and stood up again. He imitated me by rubbing the knees of his pants, then he turned around, went to untie Ombral who had been waiting quietly chewing distractedly a few tufts of grass that he had managed to tear off despite his rather short tie. He came back to me with him:- It would be better if it were you who first mounted him today, with the emotions you have just had, it would be wiser, and when you are completely recovered, we'll exchange.For once I didn't protest, my legs were still a bit wobbly, and if we had to leave right away, it was indeed better for me to follow this good advice. He helped me to get in the saddle and we set off again.