a woman scorned

to mad

"I hate yo dumbass","you ain't shit","fuck you". All the things that are going through my head about him I can't stand it but I love him unconditionally. Shit I love him so much that it hurts. It pisses me off that he is okay with walking away from me like I don't even matter. I wanna cry but I can't. I have to be strong. No fuck that, I'm only human sometimes it's OK to be weak. I kinda put myself in this position, because I wanted a break. He wanted more than that I can't take this anymore. Sometimes this shit makes me wanna blow my head off. I thought we was strong, but in the mirror we were weak. My heart is nothing but dust and ashes I hate this shit real talk. I feel stuck in a maze of unhappiness trying to find him to be set free. At the moment I'm falling back.  All the way back. It's for our own good. It's hard everytime I see him I wanna fuck him.  Sometimes I wonder if she has somebody else? Does he like somebody else? Is she better than me? Does she do more for him than I do? I get scared all most like I wanna lose my damn mind. I'm in love with a person that I'm not sure loves me back anymore. I can't be angry at him I can only be mad at myself.  sometimes I still feel invisible like I don't fuckin exist.  I can't. I wanna feel appreciated but I feel unappreciated instead. I get angry as fuck. I put my all into some shit that I don't have to deal with but I do because imma loyal ass bitch. Imma hold him down no matter what but he doesn't understand that. I can't dreal that in his head he has to realize this for himself. He has a good thing with a bad bitch. Then again I had the world's best boyfriend. Nobody wins in this war.  I miss I'm like crazy but I guess he doesn't miss me as much.