Amore pericoloso

Chapter 7

Katherine

I'm not really sure how many days I had been here. While I didn't feel so bad now, I was still sore. Sleeping was the best thing to help the pain, so I did that often. But that made keeping track of the days that much harder.

I didn't see much of Lorenzo or of Gio the next few days. Honestly, I think I offended Lorenzo with my opinions on joining. But hey, what did he expect? I don't think I had a mean bone in my body, let alone the ability to do the things they do. Right or wrong, which I hadn't decided on yet, I don't think that killing anyone was something I was capable of. Or was it?

Lorenzo had made a good point and I had been mulling it over for a few days. Could I kill someone? If it meant protecting someone I love? My first reaction was no. Of course not. But then I think of my parents. Could I kill the drunk driver that took their life? Would that be justice? What if I could kill him before the accident even happened? To save them? I shuddered. This was not something I liked to think about. The dark little monster in me smiled and I knew the answer. I would. I would kill to save them.

My arm was finally healing. The doctor had been back once to check my stitches. He gave me a nod of approval and told me to keep resting but that I should make a full recovery. He also informed me that I could go back to working if I so chose too. Crap.

Work. How long had I been here? Was anyone looking for me? I doubt it. I had no family that I knew of. My boss was so absent at the diner he never knew what was coming or going. The cook hated me. Shit. Did I even still have a job to go back too? I hoped so. I had very little in my savings now and not having an income would really hurt me.

As I sat there mulling it over, there was a knock on the door. I gave a small sigh and told them they could come in. I was expecting Gio again, with his warm smile. But it wasn't. Instead I was met with hard, angry blue eyes.

"Katherine." he said formally nodding towards me. He looked upset, almost angry. Was it me? Had I done something wrong? "Have you made a decision?"

I gulped. Well here goes nothing. "I think..." I started and then looked down at my hands. This was hard. Would he be angry with me? Would he hurt me? I stayed quiet for a moment.

I felt him come closer but I didn't look up. He sat on the end of the bed and sighed himself. If I had to guess, he was pinching the bridge of his nose. I noticed he did that a lot, especially when he seemed stressed. "Oh passerotta," he said and his voice was so much softer than before. Almost sad. "You want to go home."

I didn't look up at him when I spoke. "Are you mad?" I asked him, sounding small. Why did I feel like such a small child? I wasn't doing anything wrong. He said I could choose. And I did.

He gave a small sigh and shook his head. "No. I am not mad." he put his hands on mine, trying to comfort me. "But I am a little disappointed. I think you would have enjoyed being part of a family."

Family. I didn't even know the meaning of that word anymore. In the real world I was all alone. And what he was offering me....what he was offering me was what I always wanted. People to bond with and share comfort in. People to share my sorrow and happiness. To celebrate the winnings and catch me when I fall. But I just didn't think this was the kid of family I needed. So I should go home.

"I am sorry." I said softly. "I just don't know that this would be the right fit for me."

He didn't speak as he stood but just nodded. As his hand touched the door I got a pang in my chest. This would be the last time I saw him. As the door shut behind him I sighed. Time to go home.

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I was surprised that the drive back to my apartment was not very far. We had been about 30 miles outside of the city limits and as I expected, Gio knew exactly where I lived. The old brick building in the heart of downtown stood out and I sighed. Home sweet home.

Gio parked right in front of the main door. He didn't say anything, but I could feel his eyes looking at me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. But my manners took over and I spoke. "Thank you Gio. For the ride I mean." he still said nothing, but looked at me like he was confused. "And, for well, saving my life. Lorenzo told me you helped with that."

He gave a soft smile and took a breath. "Ah well I shot you so I suppose that I should help don't you?" shaking his head he gave a soft chuckle. We sat there another moment and I could feel his eyes on me again. Those soft green eyes which held so much kindness in them. "Can....can I ask you something?" he finally said.

"Sure." I said and I held my breath. I can only imagine what was to come.

"Why did you say no?"

Now I sighed. "Honestly," I started, "I don't really know. I don't think I would fit into this lifestyle. I don't think I could handle knowing the things that go on. And....I....I just don't know if I could...." I faltered. Was that really why? I couldn't hand him?

"Ah." Gio said in a soft tone. "He scares you."

"No." I said firmly and I was surprised by how much I really meant it. Lorenzo did not scare me. But how I felt for him....that was a whole other conversation.

"He cares for you. You can feel that, can't you?" Gio asked me and this took me by surprise. Me? He thinks Lorenzo cares for me? He's delusional. I didn't speak, so he continued. "I know he doesn't want to admit it, but I can see it. Sometimes I think I understand him better than he understands himself." he gave another sigh before he continued. "He has had a hard life. And he does not trust people easily. But I saw it with you. How his eyes had some life back in them. And he would smile." he turned away from me for the first time since we began this conversation. "I love my cousin Katie. I want what is best for him. I think you could have been that. If you would stay."

I swallowed hard. I honestly didn't know what to say. Would I be good for him? I don't know. Did he really feel that way about me? I doubted it. "I think you're wrong Gio."

"I wish you two could see what I see."

Again, I didn't know how to respond. So I reached out to touch his hand. "Thank you so much for everything. I hope you guys get everything figured out." and with that and a small smile, I turned and exited the car.