Never a Choice

Chapter 1: Take a rest self

Hah.. Here I go.. I can do this! Encouraging herself Leila continued walking excitedly. Today is the day she's been waiting for. She'll tell Enzo her feelings. She'll make sure that this time she'll have him as her boyfriend. Her first one ever. Enzo is one of her university classmates. They're both in their last year and will be graduating soon and become professional teachers once they pass the board exams. If they'll become lovers before graduation they can review together and have a lot of sweet moments while reaching for their dreams together. Leila just can't stop smiling while having these ideas going through her brain.

She finally reached their university library. It's the place she decided to do her confession since it's quite and it's her favorite place, especially the english literature section. She went in and looked for him. I'm sure he's in that part again. Enzo loves math and science so much that's why Lelai knows where to find him. She went straight to the Mathematics section. She can hear her heart beating loudly as she approach the aisle of the said section.

"Enzo, sorry I'm la-..." Leila was not able to finish what she's about to say. She wanted to run away but her body froze. There he is kissing another girl. This can't be happening. I'm just dreaming right? There at the place where she thought she'll get to have her first boyfriend. Instead she got her 3rd heart break.

I need to run away. I have to get out of here before I start crying. "Lei.." Enzo called out to her using her nickname with that sweet tone she has always love. But now it's just causing pain. Seeing him now with a girl is something Leila can't bear. She turned around as the tears started to pour down her eyes. "Sorry, I didn't know your with someone. Let's just talk again next time." Leila made sure not to make it obvious that she's crying. She wiped the tears on her cheeks and smile before facing him again. She turned to him. "I'm going now. Sorry for disturbing you again." Ahh. It hurts. I just want to disappear now.

"Leila. Actually, I've been wanting to introduce the two of you for a long time now. It's just we're all busy with our research and projects. But since we're all done I can finally let you two meet." Enzo said looking so happy. He reached for the girls hand. "This is Pat my girlfriend. I believe you're somehow familiar with her since she's the SC President." Of course. Who wouldn't? She's the pretty, smart and rich SC President every one is talking about. "Pat. This is Leila. She's been my closest friend here and my research partner. The one I'm telling you that has been helping me with my studies." The girl smiled at her. She doesn't have a choice but to smile back. Fine, let's finish it right here, right now.

She walked towards them and offered her hand to the girl. "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Leila Ignacio Enzo's friend." She made sure to sound happy. The girl took her hand. "Nice to meet you too. I'm Patricia Lorenzo." Well, she seems to be a nice girl and Leila can't hate a nice girl. Okay. I guess I don't have a choice but to accept my defeat again. "Lei.. uh.. we're planning of eating out for lunch. Would you like to join us?" Enzo can really be so insensitive sometimes. But she can't blame him since he doesn't know a thing. "I'd rather not. I don't want to be a third wheel on your date." And I'm not a masochist you know. She doesn't have any plans watching them being so sweet and all. "You're not. Actually, Pat's friend will join us too. The more the merrier. Right love?" Enzo lovingly turned to his girlfriend. "Yes love. Besides, I'm sure you two will get along. Haru loves English literature too. Enzo told me that you also love them." Wow. Enzo even told her things I like. Nice. Leila just want to cry again. "Sure. I'll join you. What restaurant? I brought my car so I'll drive there myself." Okay, so maybe I'm a masochist after all.

Leila can't sleep. And she knows why. She's still sad because of her failed confession and of course she can't avoid seeing those two together at school. The last time when they ate out for lunch Pat's friend was not able to come due to some emergency and that left her alone to watch the sweetness of the two. In the end, she ended up making an excuse to go first since she can't take it anymore. "I wish I have the power to move on fast when getting heartbroken. This is my third time already. I don't know what is wrong with me and no one choose me. Well, am I even an option in the first place?" The first time was when she's in grade six. Yes, grade six. That was her first love. She was able to tell him her feelings but it turned out that the boy she liked, like boys too. So there was no way she could change that. The second was when she was in fourth year high school. She was so in love with this guy's because he was so kind, nice looking and smart and at the same he is very religious. He never fail to attend Sunday masses and Leila was influenced by him so she started to attend masses every Sunday just to be with him. Well, she's really attending Sunday masses it's just that sometimes she don't. Anyway, she confessed her feelings for him on there way home from the mass a week before their graduation. She could still remember what he said that day. "I like you too. But I can't accept your feelings. I've made up my mind already that I'll be serving God all my life. Once we graduate, I'll enter the seminary. Maybe you'd like to be a nun? That way we may have the chance to serve God together." Well, she love God but she don't have any intentions to be a nun. The last news she got about him he is still in the seminary pursuing his dreams. "Hah.. why am I always not an option? I mean, I'm not very pretty but I guess I'm cute enough to have someone like me. My friends always tell me I'm pretty sometimes." Leila just can't stop thinking about how she was never chosen or even be an option. She just kept thinking about it while lying down staring at the ceiling of her dark room. Maybe it's time for me to stop falling in love. I'll just focus all my attention with my unfinished projects. I'll take a rest for now.