<why me?> ((dreamnap))

Streaming...

DISCLAIMER: SELF HARM/ SUICIDE THOUGHTS
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-sapnap's POV-
I decided to ring dream and george and stream Minecraft for a bit since I wasn't tired yet. I opened discord and saw that dream and george were already in a vc. If I'm honest I was a bit jealous, but dream and george were just friends. right?
I joined the call and was about to say hi before I was interrupted by a loud scream.
„WHAT?! HOW DID I JUST DIE?" george yelled
Dream started wheezing abruptly.
„H-hello?" I said after dream had calmed down.
„Hi"george said in a slightly annoyed tone because of what happened before
„Oh hi sapnap!" dream said in his usual happy tone. Just that let butterflies free in my stomach. I had noticed how much I loved him a while back and hated that. He would never love me. I'm not good enough. Those thoughts became normal to me. They're true. Dream would never love me. Why would he love his childhood bestfriend?

I snapped back into reality by dream laughing again. His laugh is so cute. Wait what? Concentrate sapnap.
„How did you die again?" dream said before starting to laugh again
„I DONT KNOW DREAM!" george yelled out slightly raging.
„What happened?" I asked.
„Basically me and george are playing minecraft and george just keeps dying in the nether"
———————one hour later—————
I started streaming about and hour ago and started getting tired since it was 3 am so I decided to go to bed. I ended the stream and ended the call before ending my pc.
I went to the bathroom to take a shower and looked into the mirror. Why would you think he would ever love you? Your pathetic. I looked at the sink and took the razor blade. Do it.
I slit my wrist with the razor before slitting it again.

again.
again.
and again.

I took off my clothes before getting into the shower and thinking about my life's purpose. Why live if nothing is worth living?
After the shower I throw on dreams merch before going into my bedroom and flopping on my bed. I immediately fall asleep peacefully drifting into a dream...
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366 words :)
I hope u enjoyed this little start to the story I don't know when I can update so ye
:)