Gender Based Violence

GBV

I grew up being exposed to violence against women. 

No one ever told me that it was wrong. Growing up i thought it was normal for a husband to beat up his wife ,,, i thought thats how it was supposed to be. No one told me that it was wrong so i thought that was the road i was headed too.

 I remember seeing him beat her up Just for a mere chat back " LETHA LAPHA IMBODLELA LEYO MANJE!! (bring that bottle here now)"

he shouted on top of his lungs to his 5year old DAUGHTER with a scary look on his face, while on top of his wife strangling her, holding her down so she wont move pointing at a 2 litre Coca Cola glass bottle that was next to his daughter , i remember seeing her hesitate to hand it over to her while SHAKING her head

"he wants to hit her with the bottle i thought to myself"

i remember Looking behind me and People were Just standing there watching, not helping her, talking among themselves with no emotion in their faces what so ever, with no intention of helping, some were even laughing … I still remember it like it was yesterday…

How dare u involve a Child in this disgusting act, how dare u. 

"baba uyakhala umama myeke!!! " (dad mom is crying, leave her alone) she cried out But it fell on DEAF ears as he kept on punching, slapping, kicking until he couldnt anymore, until he was out of breath, until he was SATISFIED.

I still hear all the noices in my head, the sound of his slaps against her skin,her silent sobs, his daughter SCREAMING for him to stop. 

I still remember HIM standing up and Looking over her, helpless 

"UNGAPHINDE UYENZE LENTO OYENZILE SFEBE… ANGIPHENDULWA NGUMFAZI MINA UYEZWA MGODOYI!!!!! 

(Don't ever do what you did ever again bitch… No Wife of mine Will chat back at me you hear me)" 

He walked out with no care in the world of what he had done…. The  People who were watching CONTINUED with their daily routine as if nothing happened, But i, i knew from that day that what he did was wrong, It didnt feel right,,,,, even though i thought gender Based Violence was normal.... At the back of my mind i knew that it was wrong..... But i Just needed someone to tell me.........

"baby am oky…ungakhali woza kumama… besidlala kuphela sthandwa sami"

(Don't cry.. Come to mom.... We were Just playing) she said.

No... She should have told her how disgusting and wrong what Just happened is.... She should have told her not to allow any man do to her what her Father Just did to her..... But no.... She Chose to say "we were Just playing"

That day haunted me for the longest time… I was a Child.. I didnt know any better … I was supposed to be taught about this… Even thou it didnt feel right i needed to be taught to not allow this to happen to me. 

"its not right…" thats all i needed to hear "As soon as he lays a hand on you run before its too late, if he is too controlling leave because you deserve better, if he starts acting like he owns you HAMBA,buyela ekhaya" (go back home)
was that too much to ask??

I guess it was because.... No One ever told me, If only someone had…..if only someone had warned me about it, maybe i wouldnt be here now, maybe i wouldnt be......

DEAD.

If only…. but its too late now... another man has won....

AGAIN.