what is this feeling? | ryokira | one-shot

☦︎︎

𝑟𝑦𝑜 𝑝.𝑜.𝑣

there we laid, staring up at the dark blue sky, waiting for something to change.

we had just battled, akira was all bloodied up, his face looking a bit stiff.

"love is not real, there is no such thing." i started, still looking towards the sky.

"therefore, there is no sorrow." i continued.

"or, so i thought." i finished, pausing before turning to see akira staring at me in his peripheral.

"akira? why am i the only one talking?" i asked, leaning up on my elbow to look down at him.

he smiled weakly, his eyes fighting to stay open.

"because i wanted to admire the way you look right now." he whispered loud enough for me to hear, turning his head to the side.

i brought my hand to his cheek, feeling the brisk coolness of it as my fingertips lightly glided across the skin.

"akira? you're as cold as ice." i say, my tone becoming worried.

"akira, right now, i'm feeling something." i said, my vision becoming slightly blurry.

he only smiled weakly, his eyes becoming heavier.

"what is this? this feeling?" i ask, feeling pressure on my eyes as tears began to spill out.

what the hell is going on?

"it's ok ryo. you're gonna be ok." akira said, bringing his hand up to my cheek to wipe the tear away.

that only made me question what was wrong in the moment even more.

my lip began to quiver as i raised my hand to my cheek, holding his hand there.

what's this sensation?

this weird, burning feeling?

it's rising in my cheeks, showing brightly amongst my pale skin.

akira's small smile began to look pained, his arm losing the strength to stay against my cheek.

he dropped his hand to the spot of ground that was between us, his eyes, welling with tears of his own now.

"i didn't think i would ever get to see this day physically, but here i am. watching ryo asuka cry." he said, his voice sounding dry, like he needed water.

"why am i feeling this way though? tell me, what is this feeling, akira?" i ask, my voice a bit shaky.

his eyes closed momentarily, taking a deep breath.

"i can't tell you that, ryo." he said, his voice starting to fade away into a shadow.

please, please. i just want to know what's going on.

i want it to stop.

i want it gone.

his eyes closed. i waited for them to open again, not seeing a sign that they would.

"hey, listen to me... akira?" i said, bringing my face closer to his.

"look at me. look here." i said, my heart beat growing faster.

i brought my lips down to his cheek.

it felt, if possible, colder than before.

"respond, come on akira. respond." i said holding his face in both of my hands now.

"you've been with me until now, don't forget that... come on, say something." i continued.

he's gonna be ok, right?

he's just like me, he's able to recover from serious damage, right?

he'll be just fine.

my eyes were watering even more now, more tears spilling from the duct.

i shook him a bit, feeling his body go limp.

no.

no, no, no, no, no.

"no akira." i whispered out of disbelief.

"don't leave me... don't leave me." i kept whispering, pulling him close to my chest.

come on, wrap your arms around me and tell me you're fine!

"please, be somewhere." i said, pulling his face away from my chest.

i looked at his cold, dead face, still having a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he would open his eyes to stare back into mine.

just one last time.

"please, say something!" i yelled at him.

no response.

i felt my mind go blank, one thing finally hitting me.

he was gone... he was really gone.

no more reviving him.

no more walking around with him.

no more standing with him, being with him.

it was all over.

"a... akira!" i yelled, pulling him back to my chest.

it felt like something, a piece of me, had broken into a million little pieces.

i held him, waiting for god to punish me again.

to reset life itself and make me suffer.

i looked up, noticing the little orbs settting into place as they exploded across the earths surface.

and so, this is how it ends.

akira, laying dead in my arms as i cry my eyes out.

just to go through all of this, again.

"fair play." i whispered, looking up to the sky, before everything turned white.

and just like that, i was being reborn again.
~~~
i think this could have been better BUT that doesnt matter this is still pretty good