𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐨 - 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜

047

"Boo." Said a voice as a pair of hands held my waist.

"Ah!!" I yelled as I jumped from the scare. I turned around and saw Dallas who was laughing over the fact he was able to scare me.

"Ugh you bitch!!" I said as I slapped his arm.

"Don't you fucking ever do that again. I almost died!" I said as I adjusted my shirt.

He stared at me and raised his arms up in defense.

"Geez fine. I'll never do that again." He said. I stared at him and sighed.

"When did you get out of the cooler anyways?" I asked as we walked into the park. We got to the swings and I sat down on a swing. Swinging myself back and forth as Dallas learned against the poles.

"Earlier today." He said. I nodded.

"I remember when Leo used to get dragged into the cooler." I said.

"Haven't heard anything from him?" He asked taking out a cancer stick.

I shook my head.

He stared at me.

"You miss him huh?" He asked.

I looked at him.

"You miss Steve?" I looked up.

"I haven't heard from him in a couple of weeks I keep writing to him but-."

"Could he be cheating on me?" I asked. Dallas blowed a smoke ring.

"He's not like that. I know Steve, and you really had an effect on him. He loves you."

I stared at him. "You sure about that?" I asked.

"Yeah man. Everyone has one great love in their life. Yours is Steve and Steve's is you."

"And who is yours Dallas?" I asked.

"Everyone has one but me." He said as he inhaled.

"Why?" I asked.

"People like me don't attract love. We attract misery, trouble. Pain." He said as he shrugged.

"You'll find your true love soon." I smiled.

"Sure." He said sarcastically. We  got up and headed back to the Curtis house. Meredith and I headed back home.

It was a couple of weeks since they left. I missed both. I was in one of those days in where I felt sad. I grabbed a cup of coffee and said Goodnight to Meredith, heading upstairs. I took a sip from the steaming cup and sat on my bed, opening a book. I began reading. After a couple of minutes i grew colder. So I stood up and put one of Steve's hoodies on. I sighed and layed quietly reading. Letting my mind be consumed and sucked into a new fantasy world. A sort of distraction for me. I was tired. Exhausted. Both mentally and physically. And emotionally for that matter. Who knows if Meredith ever decides to write Sodapop pro tell him about the baby, but frankly that's not my place to decide.

Steve is gonna come home soon. Both him and Sodapop. I've spent a lot of time thinking about how it's gonna feel. To have him back. To physically touch him, hug him, feel his presence physically rather than just mentally. I closed my eyes as I felt a rush of warm ness. It was moments like these where I imagined him hovering over. Keeping company. If only he knew how much I miss him. How much I love him. But no words in the world would ever be able to explain the emptiness in my heart.

I was never a crier. I never complained. But now I just feel so done. So exhausted. I just wanna let go completely. Forget about everything and anything. I was numb from feeling so lost. And although I had people around me, I didn't have myself. And I don't know what's worst. Being alone and having yourself. Or having people but not having yourself.