Jily in Wizard Heaven

Discovering Heaven

AN| IT EVEN SAYS GHOST OFFICE PRINTS PEOPLE ^^^^

James and Lily had explained what happened to Marlene and her family. In turn, Blaise had explained parts of W.H to them. "But it's easier to see for yourselves!" he had exclaimed. So now, they were on the grand tour. "So this is The Three Brother's, where you can get Ghostbeer, Waterwhiskey and the works. The shop next door is Honeyspooks, there's free Graveyard Gobstoppers every Sunday! Up that road is the actually Haunted Shack and over there is The Dead Hog, not many people go there, it's frequented by the worst type of good people." Jily |AN| (I'll say that when it's something both of them do or say) looked at him, confused. "Uh, well, good wizards and witches, those who haven't done any bad things, go here, and those who have done bad things go to nowhere. Mind you, not the ones who picked their nose a few times. The ones who have done truly bad things. Like, people who still pick their noses at twenty one years old. Just kidding! I mean people like Voldemort. They just die normally. Well, hopefully in a horrid way, but, you get the point."

James blushed. Lily turned on him. "YOU PICK YOUR NOSE?! AND TO THINK I HAD A CHILD WITH YOU! YOU DISGUST ME, YOU PIG!" Then she turned on Marlene. "Can you divorce someone in Heaven?" Marlene laughed nervously. "Uh, yes...? I think?" Lily smiled. "Good. Well, set me up a meeting with the best lawyer you can find. I want to get this over with." James was crying now, begging at her feet. "PLEASE LILY NOOOOOOO" Lily looked at him disgustedly for twenty seconds. Then she smiled at him amusedly. "Did you really believe that?" She asked him with a pitiful expression. James instantly got up, brushed himself off, and shook his head cockily. "Of course not, Lilyflower." He smirked. Lily smirked back. She won the smirking contest. "Okay, show us more stuff!" She directed this at Blaise, who was watching them with a bemused expression on his face.

He shook himself and led them down the road. "So, this is Madam Pumpkin's Tea Shop, great for Valentine's Day if the girl or boy in question loves pink, confetti, and naked cherub drawings. Otherwise it's actually quite cute the rest of the year. Across that giant lake you can see the school, Spiderweb, for the children who hadn't finished school when they died. The dead professors are quite happy to be able to continue teaching. "Aren't the professors who died too old?" asked Lily. "No, you can choose what age you are when you arrive here. And from that point, you can either stay that age for aftever, afterlife ever, or you can gradually get older and keep celebrating your birthdays and then stop at a certain point." James gasped. "I know right, isn't it wonderful, Jamesie?" said Lily. But James was staring at something else, something that made Lily fill up with dread. "NO, JAMES, NO!" She yelled but it was too late. He had already gone inside Scaryo's Joke Shop. "YES, JAMES, YES!" He yelled at himself, giving a whoop as he entered.

A few hours, lots of Gravediggers (GALLEONS) spent and bagfuls of stuff, it could only be explained as stuff, later, they were on their way home. When they arrived, they thanked Marlene and Blaise and invited them for supper that night. James just dropped everything on the floor and collapsed onto the sofa. Lily calmly went to the kitchen and put all the food she bought in the larder and the fridge. She also started brewing some Mint-Liquorice tea. Then she started exploring the house. On the first floor, there was the kitchen, the living room, the indoor pool, the telly room, the dining room and a big guest room with a bathroom attached. The second floor consisted of three more en-suites, an indoor garden and a huge balcony attached to the master bedroom. There were also two studies and a ginormous library. On top, the attic was one huge room, white and clear. The basement involved a gymnasium, a jacuzzi and a ballroom/party room. In a drawer in the master bedroom, Lily noticed a big book. Embossed in blue lettering on the cover, were the words A USER'S GUIDE TO W.H. Lily opened it and began reading. It was full of fascinating explanations about how heaven worked. Lily read that the wizard Merlin, was the Head of the English Department of Wizarding Heaven, H.E.D.W.H, and that he was the one who led them to the 'cottage' (it was more like an indoor castle, now that she'd explored it.) She stirred her tea thoughtfully. She could get a job if she wanted. She also had to ask for special permission to cross into the H.B.H, Human Border of Heaven. As she read on, she realised that the Three Brother's was owned by the three brothers of Beedle the Bard's story.

A few hours later, Lily woke up abruptly. She went silently down the stairs and went to the kitchen. She filled a bowl with freezing water and crept up on James. 1...2...3... SPLASH! James woke up with a start and glared at her. Lily was laughing so hard she had to sit down. "WHY, LILY, WHY!" Lily was giggling so hard tears were streaming down her face. James just huffed and turned around, pouting. Lily got up and went to give him a hug. "Aww, Jamesie, it was just a harmless little bit of water!" James shrugged. "I need a kiss to make it better!" He smirked. She smirked. He won the smirking contest. Lily kissed him then went to the larder. "We need to start making dinner for the Mckinnons, Fabian and Gideon, and my parents!" Her voice came out muffled from behind the cupboard door. James went over and started making a treacle tart, his favourite. An hour later, Lily put the chicken in the oven and started roasting the potatoes. James had put his tart in the oven and was preparing whipped cream. The table was set, soft candles were floating above the table, just like at Hogwarts, with a special No-Drip spell which Lily had invented when she got annoyed one morning in her sixth year when she got wax in her pumpkin juice. The little bell rang.

"Good evening, Marlene, Blaise! And what about you, Hope? Are you okay?" She bopped the little girl on her nose. The couple had decided to name their child Hope during the war. The two brothers entered next, laughing heartily at little Lucas, Marlene and Blaise's son. Then, Lily's parents rushed in and threw their arms around her. "Oh, Lils! You shouldn't have come up here so early! But we're so glad that we can see you and talk to you again!" Her mother exclaimed. Her father hugged her too and they all went to the dining room.

An| Hewwo! Thanks for reading! Hugs and blue cookies to the people who are reading this!