Smoke & Mirrors (Alex Gaskarth)

You Were My Best Friend

Kaelyn's Perspective

That night, the guys had another show. I'd opted to stay in Alex's bunk and rest since I was still throwing up and feeling quite nauseous.

"Are you sure you don't wanna come? I can keep an eye on you better if you're at side stage," Alex said for the millionth time.

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry, Alex, I really don't feel up to it. Plus, Flyzik's gonna babysit me." I waved my arm towards Flyzik, who was sitting in one of the bunks. He grinned and flashed me a thumbs up.

He frowned. "Okay, babe. I love you."

I kissed him. "Love you too."

--

Sometime later, they returned, absolutely buzzing from the show. I reluctantly got up from Alex's cozy bunk, wrapping one of the blankets around myself so I could go sit with them in the front lounge.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, after he kissed me hello.

"A little bit better. Kinda tired and still nauseous though," I said.

"Oh no," he said, frowning and wrapping an arm around me.

"Let's go to a bar tonight," Jack said.

Alex shook his head. "No, Kaelyn's still not feeling well."

"I don't mind. Go hang out with your boys, I'll be fine," I said.

"I can stay with her," Rian said.

Alex looked between Rian and I. I could see the inner debate going on behind his eyes.

"Seriously, Alex. I'll be fine with Ri. Go have a good time," I said, kissing him.

He nodded reluctantly. "Okay, but if you need anything, or if anything happens, call me right away. I'll keep my phone on vibrate so I'll feel it."

"Deal," I said.

--

Hours later, Rian and I were in the back lounge, playing cards, when we heard everyone come back. I heard Alex's voice and got up to go greet him, but I saw that he had his arm around a tall blonde girl with big tits who was giggling at something he'd said. They obviously weren't aware of my presence, because Alex leaned in and kissed her.

"What the fuck?" I whispered.

They broke apart, both looking at me with wide eyes.

"Who is this?" The girl asked.

"Well, I was his girlfriend, but I don't feel the need to be that anymore," I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend," she said, glaring at Alex.

"I...I uh..." he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Save it. I'm outta here," the girl said and stormed off the bus.

Alex watched her go and then turned back to me. "Kaelyn..."

"Fuck you, Alex," I spat.

I stormed into the bunks and threw myself down in the bunk we shared. His scent was everywhere and it made me sick to my stomach. He followed me and squatted down in front of me.

"I--it's not what it looked like," he said.

"Oh, it's not? So you weren't just making out with another girl right in front of my fucking face?" I asked.

He blew out his breath, his brown eyes wide. "Okay, fine, it is what it looked like. But--"

"But what, Alex? I wasn't there so your dick got lonely?" I asked.

"Stop it," he said, his voice calm.

"Because you know what? I'm sorry I was too fucking sick to come out tonight. I'm sorry that I stayed here and played fucking Go Fish with Rian because that's all I felt up to. I'm sorry I'm such a fucking inconvenience for you," I snapped.

"That's not it at all," he said.

"Then what?" I asked.

"I--I don't know. I fucked up, okay? I'm sorry," he said, his brown eyes big and sad.

"Just get out of my way," I said, shoving him and getting to my feet.

I went into the back lounge, slamming the door and pressing my back against it. I could feel Alex knocking on the other side of the door.

"Come on, Miller, open up!" He called.

"Fuck no!" I yelled, starting to cry. I'd held it together somehow up until that moment.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it!" He called.

"Just leave me alone!" I sobbed.

"Come on, we're bigger than this, I know we are," he called.

That made me stop. I opened the door and faced him. "No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to pull the 'we're meant to be' card. Not anymore," I whispered.

"Come on, we can move past this, I just--"

"No, Alex. You don't get to cheat on me and then choose how we handle it. You lost that right when you brought that slut onto the bus. Now get out of my way, I want Rian," I said, shoving him.

--

Rian and I ended up sitting on the couch in the back lounge, my head on his shoulder as I cried and he rubbed my back.

"I'm so sorry, Kaelyn. I can't believe he did this," he said.

"Me fucking neither," I sobbed. "I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of this. I know he's your best friend."

He shook his head. "Nah, he's honestly not my favorite person right now."

"Mine either," I snapped.

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. The door to the back lounge swung open and I saw Alex come in, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Al, come on, you gotta give her some space," Rian said.

"I just wanna talk to her," Alex said.

"You've said more than enough. Just let the dust settle and then you guys can talk it out later," Rian said.

Alex looked agonizingly between Rian and I for a moment, before he left once again.

"Thanks for that," I said.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to speak for you," Rian said.

I shook my head. "You didn't."

"What are you gonna do now?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

--

I slept in the back lounge that night and Alex didn't try to talk to me again, which I appreciated. The next day, while the boys were in the venue, I packed my stuff and called a taxi to come get me and take me to the airport, getting the first flight home to Baltimore.

Once there, I told Lisa, Kara, and my mom what was happening, but made them swear not to tell Alex. I knew I was living on borrowed time. Alex would be home again in a few weeks and he'd notice that I was back at my parents' house right next door. But still, it was time that I needed to be away from him.

On a hunch, I also took a pregnancy test, which turned out positive, so I also had to figure that out. All in all, I was in way over my head, all thanks to Alex Gaskarth.