I'll Never Finish This Book

TEN

November 14:

Doing as the paper said, I took the subway to the nearest stop by the Brooklyn Bridge at midnight. That was the only bridge I was familiar with, and walked along the pedestrian walkway, hoping I was at the right place

"Are you gonna kill me?" I approached a silhouette I assumed to be Eli. There was no response. "Eli? Is that you?" No response. I stood still. I had the wrong bridge. What was it about Eli that had me going to bridges at night and approaching strangers that would possibly kill me and make it look like an accident? I could've ignored the note and made it seem like I was never told anything, but no, I allowed that hold he had on me to lead me to the wrong place at the wrong time. My imagination was getting ahead of me. I turned around and began heading back in the other direction.

"I just wanted to talk," the voice called out.

I let out the breath I had been holding in. It was Eli. "Why didn't you answer?" I asked, half relieved, half annoyed. "And you couldn't have told me to meet you somewhere at a decent time?"

He walked closer to me. "I thought it'd make me seem more interesting." He only looked at me for a few seconds before turning away.

I tried to steady my hands by running them up and down my arms. He wasn't engaging in the usual banter, and that concerned me. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Let's sit down." Eli directed, taking a seat on the walkway. I looked at the water below us, then over to the right. Looking at the city streets in the distance, I could see these connections between the passing cars. Those connections continued to grow until they got far enough and interrupted that link.

As everyone continued with their own lives, no longer having to think about the car they passed by, I could see all the connections disappear.

That's how things worked most of the time. A person forms this connection with someone else- they give each other pieces of their lives- and then they get caught up and carried away. That connection gets interrupted and disappears.

As everyone continued with their own lives, no longer having to think about the person they had just passed by, they could see the connection disappear.

I didn't want Eli to be just another person I passed by in a few months as we both carried on with our own lives. I didn't want that connection we created to disappear. "Now, Eli," I began speaking to shake away the thoughts, "mind telling me what it is you wanted to talk about?"

"Ever since I moved here, this has been the place I'd come to when I wanted to just get away from everything," he paused, "it's dumb, I know."

"It's not dumb. I do the same." I looked over at him, "Well, I go to the parking lot near my apartment building and sit there for a while."

"It's all the same idea, I guess."

"What's on your mind?"

"We don't have to talk about it. It's not even important. I'd rather just sit here." He ran his fingers through his hair.

"If it's been worrying you, it's important."

He sighed. "I haven't been going to work a lot."

"Yeah, I wish I could be like that, just skipping out without worrying," I laughed.

"I haven't been skipping."

Once I noticed my humor wasn't going to lighten the mood this time, I straightened up. "What then?

He looked up at me.

"What's going on, Eli?"

"They fired me a while back," he mumbled the words as if not wanting to hear what he was saying.