self

Shame To Fame Moment

Have i ever analysed me???

Mathematics the subject which became the source of my fame in school, anybody who sees me sees maths in me.

It was that phase where i barely knew myself, my likes, dislikes, my talents;I was kind of person who knew me through my parents; i was whatever they say. I'd typical mindset or can say very typical defination of intelligence taught by parents & an environment around me, and that defination was"rankers are most intelligent in class".

So this girl was intelligent yeah.. i was the ranker who used to be dumb in maths;highest in every sub, but 5 highest in maths, but never was an ace in maths. Once it happend in 6 th grade, i scored poor and my cousin and friends scored 49, 47etc out of 50 grades in mathematics, so i cried the ocean feeling dumb and all stuck b/w equations,and  was titled "weak in maths". So tathah i believed them, and considered myself weak in maths. 

shameful, dumb girl huh.

It wasn't that maths was something very hard but there were 2 doubts in myَ mind related to this subject that never let me understand it, i 'd nobody to correct my doubt, for i was a kind of person that can not move on to other chapter, leaving the doubt of previous chapter,and that was bad as well the best character of mine, but all i learned now is when to move on to next line and when to hold on to solve the doubts. Believing this fact i moved on in my life considering my self intelligent but weak in maths. I changed my school in 7 th grade,and  for the very 1st tym was  out of my comfort zone, the whole new atmosphere, the new uniform, new faces, new talents face, i stepped in school with my same mindset. Surprisingly, i made frnds easily which i doubted i could make it, but all thanks to Almighty for K in life, the girl who was firm in her thought filled with confidence and smrtness, and helped me in its development.

Exam came i passed with 82% in 1 sem,but as usual poor in maths, and it was my first time scoring in 80s rather than 90s bt competition was tough there and also cause of paper design from Ainacs institute. People in this school knew me from my name just as new admission nothing much more than that, and i' d still the same mindset, i upgraded to 8 std with the same mindset i'd but it was destined to be changed at this time of my life, my tut teacher got married so i 'd to change my tut, so i wnt to a  sir which i m till date grateful to Almighty for. I strted my tut with the same mindset, but what i sensed something not typical but rather new;sir never judged any student  on the basis of grades,so i was as normal to him as other average studnts, making me feel inferior & dumb at the same time; the way  sir used to teach us maths made me like maths, and making me forget my those 2 doubts of maths. 1 st sem came and this sir came to knw my weakness in maths, he scold me for my mistakes not knowing what made me do that but while explaining me my mistake he showed my problem, and i finally after all these years found the ans of doubts. after getting an answer to my doubt i felt both happy and dumb went home, and cried out of my own dumbness as i was feeling dumb and dirty for whenever i feel dumb and inferior, i feel dirty,cause naturally for me beauty is intelligence and acc to hadith from Prophet mohammad (PBUH) " no beauty is greater than intellect" . So since birth i 'd that mindset, so in this school for the first time i scored quite gradetin maths, i was happy cause new sir somewhere solved my doubt and i finally did good in maths out of all confusion. Gradually this sir showed/ taught me to think which i never did in my lyf coz i was like my parents and elders cannot be wrong bt no this sir showed me the way to think and subtly taught me it's human to make mistake bt learning is important. equations were purely thunking based on datum giveb to us, i actually for 1st time strted thinking and that too for smthng out of the box, every riddle has smthng interesting to be found out, gradually with time passing other doubts also got cleared. For very first time
in 9 th there was sudden change in level of mathematics, thoughness increased to the whole new level due to chnge in guj board, syllbs of primary stds was made easy bt secondary stds syllbs remained unchanged, so concepts were totally new to us, bt 9 th std was my life changing in almost every aspect of life; there i for very first time in my new school made an impression, and that too surprisingly i scored highest marks in maths. Destiny!!!!!
And All praise to Allah for as long my subject was maths, i scored the highest grades

Gradually i learned to live my life and still learning.

Growth is difficult, but all it bring is contentment.