Letter 5

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Dear Draco, 

I cry myself to bed every night because of you. Because of all the heartache you cause me. I want you so bad you have no idea. It's like you are this close, and yet so far away. Just at my fingertips and then, gone. When we were divination partners yesterday did you care? Do you think about me more than just a friend? I need to know. Because this constant feeling of being alone, with no one to love me hurts, it hurts a lot. And I know you feel that way too because I can sense it. I know you aren't happy all the time, and I know you want someone to love you the way your father never could. Well, Draco, I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. God, I'm a trainwreck. I am so pathetic to be writing this letter right now. But I can't help it. Part of me thinks sending this letter would be a good idea, and then I think of all the possible negative reactions I could get from you. And that would be worse than not knowing at all. You cause me so much pain, I'm never not thinking about you. And in my dreams it gets worse, I dream of us, together, in love. I'm scared to fall asleep tonight, because when I close my eyes I know I will be yours, and when I open them tomorrow morning I know we'll be back to where we are. Just friends. 

Love Natalia 

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