Burning Day

Chapter 18

It was all I could do to follow Gwen to Amandi's side as she wrapped her arms around her waist, trembling from the force of her tears. Shutting the door of the minivan, Gwen and I eased Amandi into a sitting position with the door propping her back and sat on either side of her, taking turns patting her shoulders.

My mind swirled, and no matter how many times I repeated her words in my head, I couldn't comprehend them—they wouldn't sink in.

I used to live here. In Danchester.

But how? Didn't she grow up in the facility like the rest of us? Wasn't she ripped away from her family like all of the other Subjects? How was it possible she ever had a life here in Danchester?

Gwen draped an arm around Amandi's shoulders, squeezing her close. "Amandi...how? If you grew up here, how did you end up in the facility?"

"That is"—I shot Gwen a warning look as I grasped one of Amandi's hands around her waist—"if you want to talk about it."

A shadow flickered through Amandi's eyes, and with one final exhale, her voice developed a flat, resolved tone, like she'd relived it too many times to feel the sting.

"It...it happened about five years ago," she began, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "When my mom was pregnant with Sarah."

It was as if I'd been slapped in the face, and I wasn't alone.

"Sarah's your sister?" Gwen asked, bewildered.

Fresh tears leaked from Amandi's eyes. "She's gone"—she buried her face in her hands—"they took her."

Gwen's brows furrowed in confusion, but she remained silent. All I wanted was to reach over and pull Amandi into a hug, but she seemed so distressed and shaking I didn't know if the gesture would be welcome.

Amandi continued, digging her hands between her thighs as they trembled. "One day, about three months before Mom's due date, she came home from an appointment accompanied by a Keeper and—and Dr. Saeva."

Just the mention of his name was enough to trigger the memories of the pinching needles, the sting of his hand against my face, and the slamming Burning Day tube. A chill ran down my spine.

"They—they held a gun to her head, and told her they were going to need Sarah."

"What do you mean?" I whispered. "They needed her?"

Amandi nodded. "They said she was needed to help stop them, and—" Amandi stared up at the ceiling as she took in deep, ragged breaths. "—and—and Dad got mad. He tried to stop Dr. Saeva, and the—the Keeper shot him. He said if we ever told anyone, he'd—" She hiccupped "—he'd shoot me."

"Who's them?" Gwen asked in a hushed tone, but Amandi was too consumed by her snivels to notice.

Tears spilling from my eyes, I tried to focus on Amandi's face, but my vision blurred. I couldn't help imagining my family, the one I was taken from, trying to protect me from the Keeper that barged into my home. I tried to shut the image away before it broke me into a thousand tiny pieces. I tried to force back the image of my pregnant mother, excited to finally give birth to a little bundle of joy—to me—before being told that as soon as she did, I'd be ripped away.

God, I felt like such an asshole. Shame crept up into my chest as a fresh wave of tears poured through. Amandi was sitting here, in her old town, a place where she apparently spent most of her life, and all I could think about was myself.

This is why you deserved to be in the facility.

You're an Ungifted animal.

"It's—it's okay, Kiara," Amandi said softly before turning to Gwen. "Gwen, don't worry about it."