I Like This One (Universe 758,977)

Chapter 16

It had been quite a terrible week for Carol. After the Avengers meeting that was held once a week, she would usually just head to her room, not wanting anyone else to see how she was truly feeling. The days had gotten worse from the last month, and she didn't know why. 

She hadn't seen Thor in over two months, which was concerning. She felt he was feeling just as bad as she was. Neither of them had told anyone else, but Carol guessed everyone else already knew what had happened. Now her days were filled with either crying or regret. It was getting real hard for her to handle. 

"Up for weekly game night Carol?" Natasha looked up from her book.

"Not today. I'm not really in the mood." Carol stared at the wall, trying to cover up the sadness in her voice.

"Are you sure?" Bucky said.

"Yeah." Carol responded.

She left the kitchen, heading right back to her room. She didn't know the last time she had been happy. It felt like the days dragged on, not changing at all. Never in Carol's entire life had she ever felt this way. It seemed strange to her. There was really no point in fighting the tears, even if she hated it. 

Crying seemed to help, yet she hated it. Eventually she would have to give up hiding her emotions, but until that day, Carol refused to say anything about it. After all these months, both her and Thor hadn't even seen each other. She wished he was here, even if he was the one to cause all of this. He seemed to be both the solution and the problem. 

All Carol wanted to do was curl up in his arms, to forget the pain she felt, to forget this mess even existed. Reality told her otherwise. It had hit her like a truck when she had least expected it. But for some reason though, she refused to accept what Thor had done. It was easier to lie to herself then it was to accept the truth. 

"Meow...?" Goose hopped on her bed, curling up on her lap.

Carol scrubbed her ears, looking out the window. The rain was slightly calming, but not enough to get rid of her sadness. Thunder brought a little bit of lightning, reminding her of Thor. She closed her eyes, imaging his vibrant blue eyes staring back at her. 

"Have you ever wondered why Goose chose you?" 

"No, why?"

"Out of all the people in the universe, she chose you. It could have been someone else." 

"Well, the great flerken likes me."

"She isn't the only one."

"I swear you bring up some cheesy pickup line, I'm going to smack you."

"How could the great Captain Marvel defeat the god of thunder?"

"You're really going to go there?"

"Maybe."

Carol opened her eyes, smiling a little bit. She remembered the memory very vividly, wishing she was back in the moment. Back when the only thing she worried about was losing at game night. Back in the good old days. It seemed like a while ago, but she didn't care that much. 

She wanted to tell Thor how she truly felt, but she felt like he would hate her. Carol was afraid that he wouldn't care and just throw her words out the window. She didn't want to be rejected by him. She felt like her fear was to big to overcome. 

"I can't do this..." Carol put her hand to her face, trying to hold back the tears.

It seemed so dumb to have that fear, but she couldn't get rid of it. He had never once judged her, but somehow she felt he would. She was back to where she started. Alone and sad. Not a good combination at all. The pain didn't seem to ever end.