Requite | ✓

Chapter 2: Delusions

Ever since that day, Asta locked himself in his room. Not coming out to eat, nor coming to celebrations. He didn't even train anymore. Nobody knew why. Only he did.

They still remember how they found Asta and Noelle after the battle. He was cradling her limp body like a lifeline. He was crying. They didn't know what to do, Noelle was like family to them too. So they cried.

What everybody didn't know, even Yuno, was that he had nightmares every night. And every day, he had daydreams, more like day-mares or day-nightmares, of his beloved dying. He was tortured everytime he closed his eyes.

Why? It was because he saw her face. He couldn't even come out anymore, since they made so much memories together, but not nearly enough. In every hallway, every turn, every place, everything he looked at contained a memory with her.

It was tormenting him. He couldn't take this anymore. He was considering suicide. However, the very moment he thought of ending his life, he saw her. He saw how she would be disappointed. But he just wanted to end this suffering.

What was worse, was that everybody was telling him to move on. She's gone, they said. She'll never come back, they said. He knew that, but nonetheless, he ignored them. They didn't know what it felt like to lose someone you love.

It was simply horrible.

One night, it so happened that the moon is in it's full moon phase. And coincidentally, the moonlight shone through his window. He didn't know if he was hallucinating. But there she was! Her silhouette formed in the night. He ran forward to embrace her, to hold her, one last time.

But sadly, he went through. Yet the figure didn't disappear. And she spoke.

"Asta. I miss you. Please don't beat yourself up over my passing. Just please, remember that I'm here for you. I love you, always and forever. Goodbye, Asta." She said as she slowly faded away into the darkness.

Seeing her made him happy. Hearing her voice made him cry. Hearing she loved him still, made his heart swell with happiness. But also at the same time, seeing her disappear, hurt him. It made him want to shout. To shout for her to not leave him. 

Not again. 

If only he didn't go through. Then he would never have let her go. He would never have had to see her fade away.

But nevertheless, seeing her again, hearing her, made him happy. His heart overflowed with joy. He hoped she would visit again. So tonight, he didn't mind the nightmares, he had something to look forward to, after all. And he could endure anything, he would conquer anything and everything just to see her, to hold her, to speak to her again.

On the next day, he finally came out of his room. The Black Bulls were still as welcoming as ever, they comforted him, told him to not mind what the others say. They told him it wasn't his fault, and it never will be. They told him that at least she can rest easy now, she had avenged her mother. They told him many comforting stuff to make him feel better, and for that, he's grateful.

Then night came. He waited, and waited, and waited. But she never came.

As if that's gonna stop him from waiting every night, over, and over, and over again. He'd wait a thousand- no- a million years for her. He'd wait as long as he need to, just to hold her in his arms once again.

Realizing she might not come tonight, he slept. He would endure the nightmares even for the longest of time, if it meant seeing her again.

As he was expecting a nightmare when he slept, he was surprised when what he saw wasn't those terrible moments. Instead, he saw her. He saw her smiling at him. He quickly reached out to touch her, but then remembered what happened before when he tried to. So he swiftly took back his hand.

But she wouldn't allow that. She took his hand and held it. Making his eyes widen in amazement. And what he did next would make her glad. He pulled his hand, taking hers along. Which made her fall right onto him. He tightly enveloped her in his arms. He didn't want to let go, not anymore.

He's never letting her go ever again. Never letting her slip away from his grasp ever. Never ever was he going to let her fade into darkness again.

He loves her. And he's never letting go. He'd never allow anyone to touch her again. He'd never allow anyone to hurt her again. He'd be there for her whenever she needs him.

She loves him. And she regrets letting go. She'd never leave him again. She'd never allow anyone to take him away from her. She'd always be there for him when he needs her.

But that was that, their promises were impossible. But even so, they will be with each other even if it means defying fate. He'll do anything to be with her again, and so will she.

Soon, she couldn't take it anymore. She wept. She just wanted to return to him so badly. Unfortunately, it wasn't possible. Before, she could. Now, it's just... Impossible. She missed him so, so much. Is it even possible to miss someone so damn much? The answer is hell yeah. If not, then what was the longing she was feeling right now? She didn't know what to do anymore. She's lost, but at least she has all the time in the world to find her way. But even that wasn't enough.

He felt her cry. He felt her grip tighten on his shirt. So he comforted her. He embraced her tightly. As if she would disappear any second. Soon enough, he cried too. It was because he remembered that this is all a dream. 'She's not alive.' 'She's gone.' 'She's not coming back.' Those words echoed in his mind. So he cried with her. How he wished so hard for this to be true. But sadly, it wasn't. She was really gone.

It hurt him. It hurt her. But what can they do? It had already been done.
They cried until it was time to depart.
And she spoke. "Asta, you're still gonna become the Wizard King, right?"

He nodded to her statement.

"Then don't mourn for me your whole life. If you can, please forget me. Just stick with Mimosa, Rebecca, or even Secrè. I'm hurting you. And I want that to stop." She said.

"I can't just forget you, you know that well yourself, Noelle." He replied.

"I'm not forcing you to forget me. I'm just asking. It's so that you won't be hurt anymore. I hate to see you hurt. That's why you should just choose one of them to be with you." She said as she touched his cheek gently.

He leaned into her touch and stared directly into her eyes. "You know that no one can replace you right?"

And he was right. The hole in his heart that emptied when she left could never be filled in by another woman. It had a unique shape that only Noelle could fit in. No one else. And that's why he loved her. Because even from the start, she already owned a piece of his heart. Ever since day one.

So that was why it hurt so much when she died. It was all because he loved her from the start. And absolutely nothing, and no one, can change that.

Noelle also found out the reason why it hurt so much to leave him behind. And guess what? The reason is also the same. She loved him from the very start. She just never realized it until Mimosa said she liked him too.

The feeling between them was mutual. However, they realized it at the last moment. When she was about to die.

He couldn't take this anymore. It hurts too much. To him and to her.